Its been two years since she died

I still feel nothing. She was a terrible person and I knew she didn’t have long to live. Honestly it just weirds me out, you’re supposed to be sad or something when someone you’re related to dies but I felt nothing and still do. All I felt with dealing with the whole thing was anger, all the relatives who never gave a shit before suddenly want to be there for you “no matter what you need”.

Well I need them to fuck off. Those pieces of shit got me sent to jail for something I didn’t even do and left me to rot. Now they want to suddenly care? God just not screaming at them at the funeral was straining enough. Conveniently none of them ever reached out afterwards and thank god they didn’t. It was extra exhausting because she didn’t leave a will either so it’s still taking time to get things sorted out. Of course she didn’t make one, she couldn’t be bothered doing something that would help someone else.

It all makes me wonder if Im even more messed up than I realize. I should have felt something but I never did. I cried when my cat died but not for her. Idk maybe I inherited a bit of the sociopathy myself. The same thing I ever said to her was a text saying how horrible a person she was but I doubt she got it. I still wonder what it would have been like, to have actual parents, to miss someone, to not be angry all the time. To not have DID and be a normal, calm every day person.