does kneeling for a dom mean the same as submitting

@herDestiny I also still believe a submissive can not have 2 doms as she can not serve both of them equally , and the quality of her submission and being cared by the dom is minimized because she has difficulty being honest to each of them ,and that gives her and then to much stress they end up competing for her submission .and all concerned suffer .

@dominateofyou It is not factual to state that a submissive would have difficulty being honest. It may be true, but that is a subjective statement. The foundation of submission is honesty, especially if it’s online. A submissive who isn’t honest wouldn’t get much benefit from being submissive, except with the personality trait of literal language, due to one’s love of language. I have witnessed a sub having multiple Doms without any difficulties. What’s required is communication. The sub or Doms need to end things with anyone who isn’t willing to communicate with all parties. There is often no minimization in a Dom’s care, this is due to Doms not being willing to be dominant all day and honesty not actually being an issue.

An inability to serve both Doms equally may seem to be an issue, except in cases where neither Dom wants any service. I have actually seen situations where there has been no requirement of service and so the sub wanders around looking for some Dom to serve even while talking to multiple. How can a sub have confusion about who to listen to when no one is giving any instructions beyond eating and going to bed?

Personally, I don’t have any Dom at all right now. Having one would require communication and some instructions. I’m going to focus on other things rather than waiting around for a Dom to show up.

@herDestiny very well put and makes sense as the sub submits to both doms instead of being less and less to one dom . Maybe being told to eat and when to go to bed is what you need because you forget and you dont sleep and have a personality . by not being open what a dom your might make him feel you closing him off ,such as how was your day and you dont reply with anything other than it was ok , what he is really asking is for you to open up and tell him how you feel what happened that day he is asking for you to talk .
There are many kinds of service beyond sexual such as a sub taking care of her self for her dom , eating properly ,getting enough sleep, and letting her dom know when something is bothering her , getting on her knees when he tell her to ,
I am curious what sub had multiple doms ? and served them all .

@dominateofyou Yeah... I wouldn't be looking to involve myself in that situation - it feels too messy for my liking.

Even if you determine that it's in her best interests to have no dealings with him going forward from here (as many Dom/mes do), I wonder how diligent and truthful she would be with following that rule you have set???

If he's saying that he is her dom, I'd be inclined to believe him - after all, what does he stand to gain from lying to you??? She has vested interest in having another dom to serve when he is dark for whatever reason... yet, he has nothing to benefit him because she'll be serving two doms and you have issues with conflicting instruction to deal with.

@dominateofyou You know that a dom has to make decisions that promote good health, not only for his submissive, but for himself, too. That's why I never accepted another submissive at my feet - not because I couldn't do it... but because it wasn't in her best interests to serve me. I am sick and I can't guarantee that I will be able to get out of bed from one day to the next.

It's not always a bad thing to hold off if your gut tells you "This is not your girl"... like I did. The door is still open for you and you would be better off looking for the right fit rather than settling for a submissive that you can work with. If you at least have your basic requirements in place, like "No other Dom/mes unless both agree to it prior" (It's a sound rule to have, given your work and family commitments - a lot of the time, the submissives don't think about how much behind the scenes communication goes into getting on the same page and you really don't want to be wasting your energy overruling stupid rules that are ultimately harmful for your submissive... again), you can at least build on the rest instead of trying to cram a truck engine into a Prius.

As a dom, you shouldn't be competing to keep your subs attention... I mean, I'm pretty much a one guy sub and I expect the same from the girl that I'd be putting so much of myself into in return. It's not a big ask, given that the ups and downs affect doms just as much as they do subs. Loyalty in return for loyalty feels fair to me.

@HootyTheNightOwl some times the relationships between a dom and sub has lots of ups and downs i agree a sub should not be trying to serve 2 doms as she ends up confused who to listen to and who to serve and all the time she has to spend between then the quality of her submission suffers.

@dominateofyou Exactly - and it's frustrating for the dom to see some of the idiotic things the dimdoms put in place... especially when you know enough to see that it's harmful and dangerous for the sub, but she won't listen to sound logic and reasoning.

Even when I got inadvertent instruction from a dom that I wasn't serving, it took me a while to get back into serving the dom who owned me comfortably. I had to go right back to basics and get used to his language and mannerisms all over again... on the whole, it was easier for me to just avoid everything that looked like instruction and my former dom supported me with that.

To this day, I still feel like that is best for me, should I ever return to the lifestyle... however, I would also be looking to hand over some rights to other members of my man's family - purely so that they can step in and issue me with certain instruction to control my medical conditions if he is 2+ hours away from me. It would only apply regarding medical situations, though for obvious reasons. Everything else would go through him.

@dominateofyou It sounds to me like your instincts are guiding you down the right road.

I don't feel like the balance would be right for you if you were to accept her. I mean, sure multiple doms can control the same submissive - but that requires a lot of communication between all the doms that you don't really have the time to invest into talking... and it takes away from the limited time that you already have to spend guiding your sub.

If he is of the opinion that she is his, those waters are muddied - and it might be worth asking yourself if you really want to invest in breaking down that existing bond or if your time might be better spent looking for a submissive who has already gone through release/abandonment???

At least, with the latter, you are starting from ground zero and building afresh rather than trying to maintain whatever schedules someone else has already trained her to.

@allygator18 I agree thats after the previous amendment in 20 June 2023.

@allygator18 I see im glad you told me about the update i missed that in the last board meeting.