I forgive you all.
Today I told a psychiatrist about how I became schizophrenic, and how the undercovers had their hand in decieving me into sin...They deny it because their decoy wasn't an attractive man and obese...Yes I am ashamed for mistaking him for the other guy, because I was trying not to look, only catching glimpses out of the corner of my eye, when he moved by turning his head fast just like the guy who tempted me did, and when I did turn to look he had his face in his hands like as if he was crying, and yes I should have been a good Samaratine and inquired what was wrong, instead of waiting until chasing him later. That is where I went wrong...I am not the same person as I was when I was that 19 year old girl who didn't know who to love or what to believe...Why do they defend themselves in entrapping me? Why do I still defend myself and still put up a pretty good case....The truth is is that it's dead and gone, I was just telling the psychiatrist how I lost my mind, that was the only reason why I revisited that time in my life. Jesus saved me from that I shouldn't look back, and I should forgive them all including myself.
As for my temptation....He was my dentist, I fell in love with him, I was confused as to how I should love him, he just reminded me of home, like family, his touch, his attention, his voice, is what I craved...I was not attracted to him physically, or intamately, I was much happier with my groom in that department...I wanted more for him that I couldn't ever offer him that he could find in someone else...But my love was true, so when they fooled me into believing that he cried over me, thus thrusting me into comforting him, then being left high and dry down on Whyte Avenue at a book store, there were more people being playful kicking their feet from behind the book shelf saying I was impressive, and I wonder if she remembers what he looks like I though it was because he wasn't the most attractive, but I felt defensive for him of course I do, and thought it was a game and played into their hands....They used fancy cars like Pontiac Firebird or something like it, a sexy black sports car that followed me from the dental office to the restaurant I went to.. They were following me first, so I put myself out there to be found!?? Stupid of me!!! I got caught up in their snare of stalking! Shame shame. I had sold my soul..Jesus saves!
It was like the Book of the Song of Solomon in the Bible, and the begining of the book of Hosea combined together....These plain clothes police officers, undercovers, spy's have been following me ever since I am now 43.
As for my temptation....He was my dentist, I fell in love with him, I was confused as to how I should love him, he just reminded me of home, like family, his touch, his attention, his voice, is what I craved...I was not attracted to him physically, or intamately, I was much happier with my groom in that department...I wanted more for him that I couldn't ever offer him that he could find in someone else...But my love was true, so when they fooled me into believing that he cried over me, thus thrusting me into comforting him, then being left high and dry down on Whyte Avenue at a book store, there were more people being playful kicking their feet from behind the book shelf saying I was impressive, and I wonder if she remembers what he looks like I though it was because he wasn't the most attractive, but I felt defensive for him of course I do, and thought it was a game and played into their hands....They used fancy cars like Pontiac Firebird or something like it, a sexy black sports car that followed me from the dental office to the restaurant I went to.. They were following me first, so I put myself out there to be found!?? Stupid of me!!! I got caught up in their snare of stalking! Shame shame. I had sold my soul..Jesus saves!
It was like the Book of the Song of Solomon in the Bible, and the begining of the book of Hosea combined together....These plain clothes police officers, undercovers, spy's have been following me ever since I am now 43.
