I actually wear clothes. 🤔

Woooah. Great question

Picture a bobble head. Are you picturing it? If so then there is your answer. 😁

Swings side to side like a pendulum smashing into my thighs

The kind of weather we are getting here Juicey
I've no intention of finding out 😂😂

Usually side to side while hiking. I don't remember what it did when I jogged maybe up and down.

It needs to be tightly bundled when running or the chafing would cause pain. Plus the unit has very little blood remaining in it during exercise so it is at its smallest. Sorry to burst your image of it.

definitely diagonally

It doesn't swing. I have to hold it up so I dont trip.

It usually bounces.. think like your boobs. Same concept.