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My friend gives me a headache when I speak to him lately.

It's sad that I am getting SO worked up that I am giving myself a migraine. I care about my friend very much, but when I hear the constant stupidity and the roadblocks to medical care he puts in his own way, I tense up. Next thing I know, my head is slamming with pain.

The doctor is offering him a visiting nurse, and he refuses. He is a hoarder living in a horrible mess and he can't or won't clean up the place sufficiently to allow strangers inside.

When I start to say something about it, it's usually after my head starts hurting. And then he shuts me right down and he hangs up on me.

Nuff said. No need to relive it.
Manfredthemanic16-17, M
One time, my Papa said that people who are addicted to something won't accept help until they know they have a problem. Even when people who love them tell them.
I'm sorry. I hope he is better soon, and I hope you stop getting migraines.
4meAndyouF
@Manfredthemanic Thank you!
Manfredthemanic16-17, M
@Manfredthemanic My dad* Sometimes, I try to speak German and English together. 馃ぃ
Justmeraeagain56-60, F
He is who he is, you might not like that,but what can you do really?
Is he still your friend if he never changes?
I guess, I wouldn't talk to him about it and save my aching head.
Justmeraeagain56-60, F
@4meAndyou He has to want to change his situation,I think.
4meAndyouF
@Justmeraeagain True. But he won't. And he will suffer because of that. It would ALL be on him if he would stop calling me to complain...but he does. And I guess I care too much to just listen and NOT try to convince him that something needs to change.
Justmeraeagain56-60, F
@4meAndyou Hopefully you will get through but respect your own health,too.
RubySoo56-60, F
I have a friend just the same. Hes not a horder but he wont accept help. Talkingvwith him makes me anxious....i understand how you feel. X
4meAndyouF
@RubySoo Thank you, Ruby.
RubySoo56-60, F
@4meAndyou sending hugs and strength. Remember not to give too much of yrself away xxx
4meAndyouF
@RubySoo Thank you!!
REMsleep41-45, F
Yea unfortunately he may cause his own downfall but abandon ship and save yourself.
Just check on him here and there via phone and thats all you can do. Maybe call horders tv show
4meAndyouF
@REMsleep I used to tease him that the only way his mobile home could ever be cleaned would be to knock him out and chain him to a tree outside, where he would awaken to scream and show his teeth and slaver like a rabid wolf as his things were cleaned and sorted and removed.

It's not funny anymore, though.
REMsleep41-45, F
@4meAndyou There is ALWAYS mental illness or most usually unaddressed emotional issues at the source of hoarding.
4meAndyouF
@REMsleep I know. It's very sad. There are issues there, for sure.
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4meAndyouF
@Stereoguy Thank you!

 
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