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While rejecting someone are we obligated to give them reasons ?

I think no, because reasons invite argument.

What do you believe ?
Fungirlmmm · 51-55, F
If you had a relationship, common courtesy would mean you should probably give them reason. Be fair, and give them closure.
In ending a relationship, yes, out of courtesy perhaps.

But in refusing an initial date, “no thank you" should be sufficient.

You have the right to date whomever you choose, so anyone trying to [b]argue[/b] is not respecting that basic fact.

And [b]proving[/b] you’re justified in rejecting them. 🤨
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
Uncertainty in a relationship is the start of the breakup.

You're not ready for a relationship, if you're not willing to give reasons.

Full honestly truly is the best policy.

This is the reason why I never had a good relationship. Because few were ever willing to give good reasons.

To tell the truth, I never broke up with anyone. I never had a good reason to break up with anyone. They always broke up with me.

I can go back to the third grade in breakups.

Not that I ever fought it. When anyone doesn't want you, it's over already.

It's best to give the reasons, so they know what the reasons are and learn from it.

And boy did I learn a lot on that third grade breakup. She did sort of give a good reason. She was embarrassed. Yet she at least own up to it, despite the embarrassment. Thing was I never said anything to anyone about the embarrassment back then.

Initial dates are not relationships. Relationships take some time. Even that third grade girl I was walking with her for months every school day.
Mudkip · 31-35, M
This happened to me recently with a coworker. Some of my friends at work said I should be nice to her and give her an explanation on why I turned her down. They were making me look heartless, cold because I didn't want to. I said it's not my fault she has feelings for me, why should I put out a fire I didn't start or want? Either way I did, just to be nice and civil about it.
elafina · 36-40, F
Depends on the person. Recently by trying to give closure to a guy, indeed what you said happened. He was asking for more and more in a way that seemed after months, he'd never get the message. I just stopped replying, something I should have done months now.
But I was always trying to be thoughtful. In this case it didn't work
soulshadow · 36-40, M
Of course you do It's the law, unless you want to go to jail.
I do not think you owe anyone an explanation. I think explanations may inform a person why. Sometimes people will not take no for an answer. One needn't argue when one has rejected someone. You just state no. Why if you think it will help or let that person down easier. Otherwise why prolong something that just isn't right?
NeuroticByNature · 41-45, F
No. You dont owe anyone.
PoeticPlay · 51-55, M
I am an adult don’t need any being in this Universe permission to do what I do or need to explain it too.
If you're turning down a stranger for coffee I'd say no. But that situation most likely wouldn't lead to an argument.
If it's a matter of offering someone closure... I guess I'd say reverse the roles and decide if you'd want that closure.
Repete · 61-69, M
Not really obligated and usually they know anyway or should , but if it is something that just happens and you have no control of , maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk a little, if an argument starts, walk away knowing you tried to explain.
deadteddy · 26-30, F
You are not. Especially if you’re not close with them. You just say you’re not interested. Unless they’re close to you, like a close friend who caught feelings for you.
Adogslife · 61-69, M
Obliged, no, but it’s nice if there was any dating going on to give them a reason. Make it about what you’re looking for instead of their shortcomings. That’s a bit kinder, if possible.
smiler2012 · 56-60
@MissAnonymous yes you have a valid point but ending a relationship with no explanation and leaving them in limbo wondering what they did wrong is cruel
Krishh · 46-50, M
@smiler2012 yes agree.
The question will poke often till the end...
WhateverWorks · 36-40
It’s been my experience people think they want an explanation , but it doesn’t help in any way.

Sometimes I just explain to them that I can tell we want different things and leave ir at that.
SumKindaMunster · 51-55, M
No, you don't owe anyone an explanation other than you aren't interested.

The fact that it might provoke an argument is not on you, that is the other persons problem.
StevetheSleeve · 31-35, M
If they’re coming on to you and you reject them, no explanation needed. If you pack up and leave after living together at least tell them it’s because they never flush the damn toilet
Livingwell · 61-69, M
I agree with you. You made a personal choice for you. It doesn't mean the other person is bad. Just that you don't feel what you need to with them.
Personally I will give reasons. Because I would want to be treated the same way. It's not a good feeling to keep wondering.
If you're parting ways after a fair length of time then you are, but if you've just met them then no
@BeefySenpie excellent answer 🤗
your statement

[center][b][big reasons invite argument. ][/big][/b][/center]
[b]
is exactly correct.[/b]
all one need to say is
I'm sorry but we are done, good luck, Go away now
alan20 · M
It depends on how deep the emotional commitment has become. Falling in love does bring with it some responsibilities.
wonkywinky · 51-55, M
Why do reject people?In what context?
One policy ive always had has been never to lead anyone on,in dating terms.
If i didnt fancy a girl for what ever reason,i would show no other interest at all.
Dont lead people on.I think to "date" someone when you know you have no feelings for them should be the 11th Commandment.
elafina · 36-40, F
@wonkywinky Sometimes it happens that I have friendship in mind and not understanding the other person's intentions until it's too late.
bobhall5868 · 56-60, M
And it doesn't change anything anyway.
eMortal · M
You don’t have to.
I suppose one might say--from the rejectee's side--that it depends upon how much time they have put in with you.

But if you are truly done, you might not be able to properly express it in that moment when you need to just cut it off.
The question is or should be asked, who is that “ someone”? Circumstances might be the determining factor if you do give them a reason(s) or not.
Bleach14443 · 22-25, M
I think as others have said context matters in terms of if you knew them and how they went about it and stuff
pdockal · 56-60, M
Obligated to nobody but family
@pdockal why would you owe family more than people you chose to spend time with?
pdockal · 56-60, M
@NerdyPotato

Guess you don't choose to spend time with your family ?
If you have to ask then you'll never understand !
@pdockal I try to avoid that as much as possible indeed. I prefer to spend my time and energy on people who respect me and who share my interests, not people who I happen to share some blood with and nothing else.
I do my best to be as honest as I can, but it's never good enough. Sorry man :(
Elisbch · M
most of the time, they'd never know I had rejected them. That's just how fast it happens.
Teslin · M
Not at all. My only answer would be that I wasn't interested.
Not necessarily indeed. Just not being interested is enough reason.
dannyppaul · 61-69, M
hit em with the cold reality right away
Krishh · 46-50, M
Yes, that is intelligent
It depends on the rejection.
Thevy29 · 41-45, M
That would be nice.
You're talking about someone with whom you already have no relationship, right? "I'm not interested" is all that's needed to discharge yourself of your duties
Maybe we don't reject the person, but their behavior or their reasoning?🤔

I think if you reject the person ....you walk away - disengage .

 
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