Your wife should try swimming in the coastal waters of my home state in Maine. You have two choices available.
1. Jump in immediately, lose your breath and wait for your heart to slow, and everything to go numb or...
2. Wade in by degrees. This method is like death by a thousand cuts. Even as a man, [i]your[/i] nipples will protrude beyond anything Dolly Parton's had every offered, your nethers will constirict to the size of tiny peas and you'll appear to be wearing blue lipstick as the cold sets in.

So get those tickets! Summer has begun and we're open for true hypothermia here.....

Yeah but you’ll be laughing for the other 8 months of the year.