I Want to End the Grief And Agony
The crash was defeating, shattered glass, twisted metal....curious onlookers...
I felt nothing but emptiness and numbness. EMT personnel with a clipboard stated I had been hurt, who should they contact. I stated I had no one to call.
"No parents, no siblings, no children, no spouse". No, I replied, "there is no one". Not believing me, they rifled through my wallet and found a yellowing slip of paper with a name and number. "Who is this", they asked. As I barely had the strength to breathe, I responded "that was my everything" but he never knew it. He never had the time to understand a lasting love for he
looked at others, placed them first, gave of his emotional energy to those
who didn't deserve it. I was never first, never second, perhaps last...the years
have faded my memory... "should we contact him, he must care". "No, I said...
we were undefined, nameless, faceless..he was always looking for something that was right in front of him". "He never realized that if he fought for love, love would always win". I continued....he thought me unattainable, but all I needed was to be loved, put first and cherished. He said I didn't understand him, praise him, like the others did. He failed to realize that I was always there for him, stood by him when his life crumbled...never once did I falter, the road called life became harder and still I was there. Still he reached for others, I had a milestone birthday....that was destroyed by infidelity.
He told me I didn't love him because I searched for love elsewhere. Never did he understand, why, I searched for comfort with others. To be someone's everything is to support them to be whatever they need to be, to be a constant source of strength when they cannot go on. He accused me of loving another and that became an open wound that would follow us, What he failed to realize was that man, smiled at me, told me I was important and made me believe that I was special. Everything I did not get from him.
If only once he would have felt my love, accepted my encouragement and put me first ....
As I felt my life ebbing from me on that cold asphalt road, I begged for death to take me from this life to the next. As the white sheet was placed over me, on the clipboard were the words....."no one to contact"
On a cold blustery day, as the leaves continued to blow....a visitor
stood over the headstone and in his hands was a card and mini pink carnations. Her favorite flowers from a time long. As he placed the flowers, the card blew open and the words he had written were revealed...."Darling, you were my everything", but I never showed you, I never emotionally gave to you, because I didn't know how.....how I wish you were in my arms again"
The card disappeared from his hands, as the late fall winds blew harder....
Never was that card to be a fixture on her headstone for she was never to have known his true feelings. He never fought for her, never believed in her and in death will never find her. For love never won, for he never trusted her to fight for love, and their time on earth ended with them both being each other's everything, without each one ever knowing it.
In truth there is no beauty, in life there is no understanding and in death
there is only finality. If you truly fight for love, suffer for love, love will always win.
I felt nothing but emptiness and numbness. EMT personnel with a clipboard stated I had been hurt, who should they contact. I stated I had no one to call.
"No parents, no siblings, no children, no spouse". No, I replied, "there is no one". Not believing me, they rifled through my wallet and found a yellowing slip of paper with a name and number. "Who is this", they asked. As I barely had the strength to breathe, I responded "that was my everything" but he never knew it. He never had the time to understand a lasting love for he
looked at others, placed them first, gave of his emotional energy to those
who didn't deserve it. I was never first, never second, perhaps last...the years
have faded my memory... "should we contact him, he must care". "No, I said...
we were undefined, nameless, faceless..he was always looking for something that was right in front of him". "He never realized that if he fought for love, love would always win". I continued....he thought me unattainable, but all I needed was to be loved, put first and cherished. He said I didn't understand him, praise him, like the others did. He failed to realize that I was always there for him, stood by him when his life crumbled...never once did I falter, the road called life became harder and still I was there. Still he reached for others, I had a milestone birthday....that was destroyed by infidelity.
He told me I didn't love him because I searched for love elsewhere. Never did he understand, why, I searched for comfort with others. To be someone's everything is to support them to be whatever they need to be, to be a constant source of strength when they cannot go on. He accused me of loving another and that became an open wound that would follow us, What he failed to realize was that man, smiled at me, told me I was important and made me believe that I was special. Everything I did not get from him.
If only once he would have felt my love, accepted my encouragement and put me first ....
As I felt my life ebbing from me on that cold asphalt road, I begged for death to take me from this life to the next. As the white sheet was placed over me, on the clipboard were the words....."no one to contact"
On a cold blustery day, as the leaves continued to blow....a visitor
stood over the headstone and in his hands was a card and mini pink carnations. Her favorite flowers from a time long. As he placed the flowers, the card blew open and the words he had written were revealed...."Darling, you were my everything", but I never showed you, I never emotionally gave to you, because I didn't know how.....how I wish you were in my arms again"
The card disappeared from his hands, as the late fall winds blew harder....
Never was that card to be a fixture on her headstone for she was never to have known his true feelings. He never fought for her, never believed in her and in death will never find her. For love never won, for he never trusted her to fight for love, and their time on earth ended with them both being each other's everything, without each one ever knowing it.
In truth there is no beauty, in life there is no understanding and in death
there is only finality. If you truly fight for love, suffer for love, love will always win.
