That Is It

I've been feeling increasingly anxious these last few days, with the realization that this is all that there is to life. Things won't get any better, I'm not getting any younger, any healthier, any wealthier... The bucket list will remain unfulfilled. I'll never get a chance to visit those wonderful places, travel the world. I'll never have money or time for the hobbies I longed for all my life, like sailing or skiing. No, it will be work, work, work with no holidays, living with my lonely self (because I have social anxiety and will never go out of my way to socialize... been there done that...), all so I can pay my bills and taxes, until I drop dead.

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contrails · 56-60, M

@SW-User I have social anxiety. The idea of interacting with strangers gets me into a bit of a panic. I know, I'm faulty, it's not normal and not a positive thing. I often wonder how on earth I've been able to make a living and live on my own. I certainly feel incapable to function normally. Simple things like doing taxes are a source of panic (anything having to do with paperwork, really). Natural selection should have taken care of me ages ago, I don't know why I still exist, frankly...