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I Am Depressed More Than People Realize

You know what I think is one of the most terrible things about depression? A lot of us just don't complain about it to other people, so I feel a lot of people think that POOF, our depression is officially gone. The family of someone who has been known for being depressed or suicidal for many years assumes that the person is totally fine because they don't mention it, sometimes for years. I hear it all the time over the years when I've hit rock bottom. "I never heard anything about your depression. I'm surprised I'm hearing that from you."

That just...really makes me want...it just kills. It's the most overwhelmingly lonely feeling in the world. It's agony that the majority of the time people that are in a happier place are oblivious to people that are on the verge of killing themselves frequently. I know it's not their fault, we're not mind reader's, but it still is agony.

When I went to the emergency room back in October, they always ask if you're feeling suicidal if whatever you went in there for could have similar ties to depression. I admitted I was, and they told my mother and grandmother. They always seem so shocked, like they thought I was over that.

I just need to ask: is there really anyone out there who can sincerely tell me that they've overcome their depression? (How big of a time period has it been for you? Have you been overall happy for a handful of years now?) I just feel like it's probably impossible for me to ever be happy again because I've been this way literally half my life.

I guess I just want to promote the fact that just because someone acts OK, doesn't mean everything's fine. The world can seem very insensitive and incompassionate, and that's why a lot of us may seem cold and indifferent to everyone else. You may find yourself thinking: "wow, I haven't heard from ____, he/she must have forgotten all about me. What an asshole!"

Don't assume. Nobody in my family knows how much I think about them a lot. I just don't communicate as much as I should because I feel like I'm bothering them or 'I'm calling them too often.' Don't assume that your loved one has forgotten you. I don't think most people understand the million things that come along with clinical depression.
yfma53 · 70-79, M
I have for the most part overcome my depression. I was in some state of depression for over 40 years. I know exactly how you feel, believe me. I would be glad to talk with you anytime. Please check out my profile and see what you think. Peace to you my friend.
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