I'm Sorry

Can i skip november?
Won't december start after this october ends?

Why can't i skip november?
every year..
It's the same..
No matter how much i try to erase the memories..
Dreading it again,
there's nothing to be done,
yet i can't be heartless
and not remember you..
i cannot ignore you..

And they say past doesn't exist, as its gone..
neither does the future..
only the present..
but these feelings for you that are here now,
do they mean you didn't exist?
you did, didn't you?
i saw you, your heartbeats,
even if for a few moments..
i felt you..
you changed my life,
without you i wouldn't have been who i am now..

i'm sorry..
i didn't know what i was doing
i didn't know what i was losing
until after i lost..

November will always be for you..
i'll try to see you
like every year
in the flowers, breeze, leaves and lakes..
and like every year
i'll find you within my heart..