I Am An Amputee

It's been 4 years since i've been involved in really bad accident who left me wihtout my left arm and my right leg both above elbow & knee with broken left leg.
I woke up few days later seing these horrific heavily bandaged stumps and my fully casted leg i was in shocked as i've never been before.
It was like a nightmare who wont end. I learned after that i was really lucky to survive as i did some heart failure during my coma.

At this point i was completly devastated and lost, experiencing these weird phantom pains for the first time. Losing my independance being depressed... crying all time.

Hopefully my family has been there and really helpfull close to me when i needed. I past the next three month switching from bed to weelchair the time for my broken leg to heal before i can put weight on. I do a lot of phisio training during this time to exercicing my stumps and be ready to the prosthetic fitting. They also teach me tricks to do most of life things one handed.

Fitting finaly started by doing cast modeling of my stumps to get the right shape and make prosthetic socket. Then 2 weeks later it was time to put them for the first time even if i already train on test prosthesis without knee sort of crutch . It was really strange sensation and mixed feelings when you see your artificial limbs coming for you... even if they explain a lot about before, it's weird experience. I was kind of shocked when you know it will be like this for the rest of your life everyday...

Firstly they put liner socket on my stumps to protect the skin from iritation and injury from artificial limbs then plug my stumps in socket my leg was conected with screw at the end of the liner and my arm by harness going to my other shoulder to support the prosthetic arm and control the terminal device attached to it.

My immediate reaction when he brought in the arm and started to hook up the harness was "i am disabled"
I don't think i've ever felt this at this point of course you know that losing limbs makes you disabled in some way but this vision when you see those artificials stuff connected to you'r body without any feeling from it... it feels so wrong...
I can't said if it was the shiny metal plier replacing my hand and cables attach to or the weight of prosthetics maybe the tightness of sockets and this odd shade of pink plastic.

Then they asked me to open and close the plier while showing me to do the movement with my opposite shoulder (don't like to call it hook :p ) and lock the elbow by pushing my fake arm on the external side it was really hard i started to cry...

It was heavy ugly painfull, hard to manage and you can't feel anything the pressure you put when you grab something or his temperature it's weird as fuck.

So they put off the plier and put on the fake hand.
And it's been worst... nicer to see but heavier and usless the only utility is it's look like an hand but if you look closer it's obviously just plastic part without so much details.

We finally focus on the leg and it was the only thing going almost right i've got equiped with electronic assited knee called c-leg it's been bit painfull and weird feeling at first but was so cool to be on my feet again verticaly.
Anyway it's surely was the worst day of my life.

Some weeks after i learned to walk again and wearing my arm because even if i don't like to wear it, it make me able to walk with minor limp and more securely because of balance difference it make with/without.

And the next major step was going on public with all this stuff and experiencing stares from curious peoples... Not so much people notice the leg since they made a foam cover to look like my other leg.
But for my arm it's another story i tried to hide it and wear my fake hand at first but people was shocked anytime they have to interact with or when i used to paid something. So now i don't really care anymore i wear mostly the plier it's more clear for everybody and make it easier in some ways.... It's obviously do not look like an hand but it can be helpfull in some situations. Except sometimes when you heard some retard laughting about...

So anyway today i'm pretty adapted to my situation and glad to be alive even with hard days and things who take longer than before.

I hope my story may help somes of you =)


Edit : I got new myoelectric hand recently and it's really great i can do tons of things with it and ppl dont look at it unitl they are close and heard the noise come from it. But its really nice technology and help my opposite shoulder to rest a bit...