Complete the following -

I couldn't decide whether or not to call in sick. No I'm not sick but I wanted a day off. This was a part-time employee. Didn't have any trouble finding the energy to text during his shift though. Twit.

I don't have shoes. needless to say he didn't have a job long

I had to fill out a police report for running over a turkey

I had to save my pet goldfish from drowning.

Got my toe stuck in the tap in the bath

im really stoned