What are your best put downs?

A bit non PC but.

You're about as useless as a one legged man at an arse kicking contest

Not original to me but: If I had a dog that looked like you I'd shave it's butt and teach it to walk backward...

useless as a marzipan dildo

You've got the face of a Bulldog chewing a wasp !
If your intellect were as big as your ego
Then we'd all be more enlightened !

I'd love to see things from your point of view but unfortunately I can't get my head that far up my ass

You dont sweat much for a fat girl.

In a room of 100w bulbs, you'd be a black hole.

Excellent. Very expressive.