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I Am Alone

My family and friends are with me and I know this. They say God will never leave you, and I know this. I've felt Him literally pick me up from the deepest corners of my mind, pulling me from my depressive state every time I am about to take my own life. But then again, it is so depressingly tiring to know that your battle is yours alone to face; that no one else can fight it with you. It would be a relief to have someone to bring me up and help me through. But that isn't the case. No matter what I do to keep moving, the pain of my past keeps punching me back. I crawl and there it is again, pinning me to the ground. Just when I feel it loosening its grip on me, I begin to get back up and like that digital sensors that never seem to fail, it knows that it is time to keep me fallen. I am such a mess but it never shows. I am in deep sadness and alone, yet rationality still controls me. I still can't bring myself to do stupid things, if only to feel, even if temporary, love.
saintsong · 41-45, F
I hope that better days are to come for you, better days that by far out weigh the pain of the past....don't look back.
Linda26 · 31-35, F
you are up from ashes time and again. not many are courageous like you. you never give up. god will always be with you.
Linda26 · 31-35, F
never feel alone. talk to people who'm you are comfortable with..
Squizz5 · 51-55, M
Don't do stupid things, just have faith god will send the right person/people
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I am trying thank you.
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emjaymj · 31-35, M
Too long to read. Fk you!
No one asked you to read. It's your choice. But thank you for that comment. Though I am not here to please you or anyone. I rant here not to get any attention but just to express what I feel. I am sorry if you wasted your time reading.
emjaymj · 31-35, M
@Socallmemabel: then go in a box and clap your hands and laugh. Since you're here to write comments on a public site for yourself.
@emjaymj: awww, pity you. as if you don't do the same thing. I know what this is. You're one of those who try to piss other people and think that it's going to be fun exchanging nasty comments. Enjoy :)
wallflowerguy · 26-30, M
Are you okay now?
I am trying to be. I am better.

 
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