I Am An Addict

I am addicted to escape in whatever form I can find it. I flit from one form of escape to the next shirking responsibilities and the hard things in life. In fact I am running right now, dodging a lab report I am supposed to be writing by composing this story.

It is a good thing I don't drink or smoke... if I did I would be completely dragged down. No my escapes are less chemical. Video games, tv, youtube, and fantasies of my own creation. I sit down to study and then find that a four hours have gone and I have only done one problem. It is pretty bad. Every day I wake up and say that it will be different. But every day I fall into the same patterns. I hate it but feel powerless to change it.

I know it is all a lie and the only one that can change it is me and I just have to decide to do the work put in the effort. But for those hours when I am imagining I am in another world, a simpler one, one where I am already the hero/star. One where I can just sit back and watch someone else save the day solving linear direct problems mostly.

I need to break free of this, I need to take back my life and focus on the things that matter...