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I Am the Child of An Alcoholic

My mum left my dad when I was about five years old because of his drinking. He came for me on Sundays for about the next twelve years. Whatever else we did together on that day he always had a little drink first. Whenever a poor starving mangy dog wandered into his place in search of a bone to gnaw on it would die at the end of a short rope tied to the gate of his back yard. Most of the relationship I remember with him is built on those six hundred Sundays. He opted out of parenting altogether the year I turned seventeen. A boy needs a dad. I grew up an angry rebel with no idea why I was like that. I had no respect for anyone or anything. It would be wrong to think that I did not love him. I made contact with him again in my early twenties because I felt sorry for him knowing that he had a hard time growing up himself. (He left school early to look for work during the great depression and then did whatever he could to survive the hardship of the WWII years). When I made contact with him again I was about twenty two years old, the little drink had gotten bigger and there was a lot less of anything else. For the next twenty or so years I watched him flush the remainder of his life down the toilet. I took his grandchildren to see him on Sunday morning but they didn't really want to go. He would be drinking already by 10:00 am and was not very pleasant to be with. His house was a tumble down hovel and his animals always died of neglect the same way he did. I understand now why my mother had to leave him. I no longer feel angry, just a deep and haunting sadness bordering on depression that I was powerless to help him. He simply had no time for anyone who did not "like a beer". His determination would be admirable if it did not look so much like a death wish. Two years after my father died I answered the phone one day to learn that my brother's emaciated body had been discovered in a cheap hotel room where he finally drank himself to death. Staying with our father after our mother divorced him, my brother began drinking at age thirteen. He had a number of serious health problems including diabetes which were all exacerbated by drinking. Forty years of it killed him. In my opinion if it were not for drinking he may still be alive today. It has been said that alcoholism runs in families. Having seen the damage done, I have an unreasonable aversion to it.
Fatjosh69 · 36-40, M
That's so so sad:( My parents were alcoholics too and I have an aversion to booze too. I'll drink but never become drunk anymore.
I wish you all the best.
SW-User
That's such a powerful yet sad story
SW-User
That's it. I was already emotional and now I am sobbing. :'(
will999 · 70-79, M
Hello DixieChick. I'm a southerner too. South of the EQUATOR that is, downunder (in Australia). From your profile page I'm guessing you know your mind. I was astonished when Trump became president but I don't think he will be able to do everything he promised before the election, no president ever can. Your replies are blocked on your profile page so I can only guess about your experience of addiction or alcoholism in a family member. I have just finished reading TOO SOON OLD, TOO LATE SMART - Thirty bedrock truths about life by Gordon Livingston, an M.D. with years of experience in treating people in all stages of life. Among other things it tells of his grief for his son after a failed bone marrow transplant that was hoped would cure his son of a terminal illness. He could not save his own son with the best of technology, his intelligence and education even his own bone marrow. It lends credence to his opinions about life, what's important and what's not. One such opinion is that parents have a limited ability to shape their children's behavior except for the worse.

 
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