I Have Something to Say
My brother finally did something for me, he talked to my mom about my issues. Why didn't I tell her myself? Because she gets defensive about everything and I don't need her to blow things out of proportion when all I need right now is her support. She doesn't need to say anything she just needs to be present so I'm not alone in my silence...
I told him how upset I was with her Insistence at my not having my babies ashes in my home and all the other things that she's been forcing on me during my mourning period and I guess he talked to her about it.
Today she came to my house, without her husband and kept me company, drove me to my ct scan apt. And drove me back home, she didn't do any cleaning or anything that she was doing when she was coming over (re arranging things, continuously cleaning etc) and instead she just sat with me, I laid down and put my head on her lap like when I was a little girl and she brushed my hair, we didn't speak much she was just here, we had dinner we made small talk and before she left she hugged me tightly and she said she knows she had been over reaching in the recent past but that she just didn't know how to react and cope herself but that she wants to be here with me and the kids and will respect that I'm not ready to see anyone else which includes her husband.
I told her honestly how I felt and she apologized and told me she hadn't even thought what it was doing to me internally and how others presence was interfering with my bereavement because I had to sit in their presence in silence swallowing my pain when all I wanted to do was release my tears...
She left my house on a better note and I feel the pressure has slightly lifted. There's one less thing I have to worry about.
Now I can go to bed feeling a little more understood...
I told him how upset I was with her Insistence at my not having my babies ashes in my home and all the other things that she's been forcing on me during my mourning period and I guess he talked to her about it.
Today she came to my house, without her husband and kept me company, drove me to my ct scan apt. And drove me back home, she didn't do any cleaning or anything that she was doing when she was coming over (re arranging things, continuously cleaning etc) and instead she just sat with me, I laid down and put my head on her lap like when I was a little girl and she brushed my hair, we didn't speak much she was just here, we had dinner we made small talk and before she left she hugged me tightly and she said she knows she had been over reaching in the recent past but that she just didn't know how to react and cope herself but that she wants to be here with me and the kids and will respect that I'm not ready to see anyone else which includes her husband.
I told her honestly how I felt and she apologized and told me she hadn't even thought what it was doing to me internally and how others presence was interfering with my bereavement because I had to sit in their presence in silence swallowing my pain when all I wanted to do was release my tears...
She left my house on a better note and I feel the pressure has slightly lifted. There's one less thing I have to worry about.
Now I can go to bed feeling a little more understood...
36-40, F
