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I Don't Get It, I Don't Just Don't Understand

Some time ago I posted this on EP;
[b]How men who are ass-faces get dates and love and undying devotion, and I'm actually respectful and strive to be kind and I can't get attention from anyone.
Bonus round:
I also don't get how those things entitle me to a load of sh-- from partners when I have been in relationships.
It's worn on me and I know I don't sound like the sweetheart I make myself out to be, but that's the face of frustration and I DIDN'T say I don't have that. Hell, I'm a North American white male in the 20th-21st century on the edge of nerd -- I think my species invented frustration. [/b]

I got responses that went on a while and were often longer than the post;
* when Tannasheart replied with: This very moment you have my undivided attention. Take in a slow, deep, breath then exhale. Sit calmly and quietly. Close your eyes. At this moment you have the admiration and compassion of several women quietly, empathetically, listening and feeling the weight of your words. The 'Human Connection' is communion with nature (an illusive courting dance). Consider the extraordinary people that are able attract and feed wild birds. No chasing, calling, stalking, trapping, moping or pining is involved in this incredible bonding ritual between humans and birds in the wild. It is simply a matter of a person being able to ground him or herself like the mighty oak, peacefully, patiently, lovingly--branch out an unfurled unconditional, modest open handed offering. Find love and joy in service. Love and be loved. I am not talking about Institutionalized, organized, manufactured, artificial social settings like a church or a night club where people congregate to dull their senses. Religion, booze, conversion all run interference with meaningful, fulfilling soulful activity & connectivity. Ask not what women can do for you ask what you can do for humanity. It's a great place to start meeting great women. I am aware of how congested and inundated we become with frustration and disappointment. I certainly feel it sometimes and when I do a wrath of angry words help expunge my soul so I can start fresh. Transient emotions are like very bad house guests that stay well beyond their welcome. Occasionally we need to be assertive and cajole, sweep, eject or otherwise escort or expel unwelcome emotional nuisances. So wipe your slate clean and try another approach to living well and just--rather than just, well living.
*I did come back with a refinement:I pursued pleasing my partners in all my previous relationships, I felt that was the goal, I felt that If I did all I could, gave my all, that whatever I got in return would be my reward and I was happy if it was disproportionate, They can get more than they give... that was fine. BUT in almost every case what I got eventually turned into abuse, so I'm giving massages, touches, compliments, and work work work on the relationship on the house on the chores and on the love... I would keep it going even when the abuses became apparent, became all to frequent and eventually became the norm. I've been giving a foot massage while being told I'm such a pushover and I should fight back. That one was abusive b/c she wanted abuse, but I don't have the time to spend the night in jail for hitting my wife. I've been told I'm worthless WHILE I was hand washing the 3rd load of dishes for that day -- that one turned to abusing my kids, too. I know that relationships can go through periods that are one sided, but so many of them do.not.swing.back. when you genuinely are a nice guy. Eventually most came to say I was a nice guy with a sneer of disdain. So what you see written above... that guy, me, he's had it dragged out of him and beaten down. I come off as more selfish now b/c I fear I have so little left for others. I told the 3rd I didn't want to get married a 3rd time. She made that so personal an insult, but that was my state before i met her... and so she used that and a fistful of the passive aggressive to screw me into marriage, and once it happened she started taking and took and took and took, and no longer gave. Maybe one day I won't be as empty, or maybe one day someone will fill me back up. Like an empty wine bottle on a shelf; why's it there at all? When someone does fill it back up will the new stuff be as sweet? IDK.
Then Tannas got kinda negative and started boasting about herself I suppose she views herself as an alpha... for all her positivism and openness speech she devolved into a couple of names and demonstrated that she didn't read the posts and didn't instill the values she stated.
Then there was TheRose202, who started in with BEing abusive to say I should stop blaming abusers... I mean I get it, poor bullies have been under assault for a couple of years now.
Heartlander · 80-89, M
I just stumbled into this 3+ year old message. I remember Tannasheart from the old EP days as an engaging chat person. Apparently she didn't make the jump to SW. Your old message here churned up a bit of nostalgia. Thanks.
xmedleft · 51-55, M
@Heartlander Experience Project was the stuff, though.
Briskie · F
Sorry your having such a bad time. But we're not all self centred, selfish leeches. Maybe one day someone who is more about equality will cross your path. Good luck with it. :)
Dewkissedrose · 46-50, F

 
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