I Can Gross You Out

My friends and I have had some pretty gross jokes on occasion. One that stands out in my memory is when I was in high school eating lunch with my buddies. My friend Matthew was big on those "would you rather" questions, or "what do you do if..." scenarios. On this particular day, he asked us "What do you do if you're in the shower and you have to shit?" Everyone all murmured that the only possible solution is to get out of the shower and go to the toilet. But my one friend Yung decided to surprise Matthew and he said loudly "Ok! What I do is, I shit, in my hand, right? I shit in my hand! And then I put it, in the toilet. I shit in my hand first, then I put it, in the toilet." Everyone was simultaneously grossed out and amused. I asked him "Wait, is this like a slam dunk situation or are you shooting a three pointer?" and Yung and everyone else all said "Ewwwwww!" We laughed about it, but then decided lunchtime was not appropriate for such discussion.