I Hate Myself

growing up to have the horrible realization sink into u like quicksand of just how bitchy and selfish ur actions were hurting someone when u were younger is inhumanly painful. ive always felt deep sorrow since that day but its becuz each year ive grown up it slowly seared into me that everythings darker and i feel sick. i feel like a junky - violently shaking becuz i just cant control my hate my guilt my anger. nothing seems good enough - every day just feels hollow to me. oh god it feels like theres nothing inside me. my guilt is swallowing me. i have a mental panic attack on wat to do becuz i feel truly hopeless