Conversations with Grandma: The Bird
Me: *gasps* "Oh no, oh no, oh no, the bird." *eases on brakes*
Grandma: "It's just a damn bird! Don't drive my car off the road for a bird."
Me: "I briefly stopped, I didn't drive off the road. That bird may have a family, and a bird mistress in that tree over there." *points to random tree*
Grandma: "G-d put that bird there for a reason."
Me: "Not for me to hit it, what if it was on it's way to bird work, or buying one of Fred Thompsons' reverse mortgages? *chuckles* Which is the biggest scam I've ever heard of."
Grandma: "That's why it was in the road. *laughs* Isn't that a stupid idea? I saw Fred in movie last night-"
Me: "Pre presidential run or post?"
Grandma: "Oh, long before. Ya know I can't believe they have Tom Selick doing those ads now. He doesn't need the money."
Me: "Well they had to get a new guy since Fred died."
Grandma: "Did he die? Hmm."
Me: "Yeah, it was a heart attack, I believe."
Grandma: "Oh well, I didn't like him anyway."
Me: "Grandma, geez!"
My dad says the same thing about me stopping for birds. Would you hit the bird? Be honest.
Grandma: "It's just a damn bird! Don't drive my car off the road for a bird."
Me: "I briefly stopped, I didn't drive off the road. That bird may have a family, and a bird mistress in that tree over there." *points to random tree*
Grandma: "G-d put that bird there for a reason."
Me: "Not for me to hit it, what if it was on it's way to bird work, or buying one of Fred Thompsons' reverse mortgages? *chuckles* Which is the biggest scam I've ever heard of."
Grandma: "That's why it was in the road. *laughs* Isn't that a stupid idea? I saw Fred in movie last night-"
Me: "Pre presidential run or post?"
Grandma: "Oh, long before. Ya know I can't believe they have Tom Selick doing those ads now. He doesn't need the money."
Me: "Well they had to get a new guy since Fred died."
Grandma: "Did he die? Hmm."
Me: "Yeah, it was a heart attack, I believe."
Grandma: "Oh well, I didn't like him anyway."
Me: "Grandma, geez!"
My dad says the same thing about me stopping for birds. Would you hit the bird? Be honest.