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I Survived Being a Teenager

I did survive being a teenager and earlier I shared a snippet of a day in the life of Hami back then. But truth is I shouldn't have survived.

Jake had promise and he died
Brooke-Anne was smart and could have been anything but she died
Thommy-Wayne well he was Thommy-Wayne always there with a smile or an insult whichever came first

What made me different than either of them.

Jake believed in God but God didn't protect him
Brooke-Anne wasn't cursed with red hair and freckles
Thommy-Wayne was abused but few people knew what his father had done

Why them why not me

Jake prayed and wanted to preach
Brooke-Anne wanted to be a doctor
Thommy-Wayne had his cap and gown ordered like everyone else

Why not me

Jake loved S (his father couldn't accept his gay son)
Brooke-Anne loved W (her parents couldn't accept her with a "poor" boy)
Thommy-Wayne was going to be a dad (Did his mom even know before he died)

Why was I different

Jake left behind an identical twin brother and a younger sister
Brooke-Anne broke her parents heart leaving them with an empty home
Thommy-Wayne's mom had buried her oldest (little boy at just 5 yrs old) about 7 years before Thommy-Wayne was born

Why did I live?

How did I survive my teen years?

Why did Jake die?
Why did the gun go off in his hand?

Why did Brooke-Anne die?
Why did she think the floor board of the car was suddenly safer

Why did Thommy-Wayne die
Some said it was suicide?
Did he mean for it to happen?
Did he want to die?
Or was it prison he actually wanted?
What was he thinking?

Why why why???
How did I live, when they were just as deserving as me
Trying to understand the complexities of managing the world is not given to finite humans.

But, maybe there is a reason we can sort of comprehend? Here is one such possible reason: a world with Thommy, Brooke Anne, and Jake in it for a short time is part of a collage of human souls that is better than any alternative collection. Not very comforting but it is a logical possibility.
hami1091 · 41-45, F
That is definitely one way to look at it, in a way I haven't looked at it before. All 3 were great people in his/her own way. Brooke-Anne was a close friend, Jake was a neighbor I grew up with (And in such a small place we often hung out together) Thommy Wayne, was A's and Heather's cousin and his father had been in law enforcement just like ours, so we had each other's backs even though I can honestly say we didn't hang out also he was a personality that was hard to not like. Our graduation class was short changed 3 people, whose life in some way or another collided with mine, and I can't think of any other 3 people that would have been able to take their place, so while not comforting it does make perfect sense what you wrote.
💐 Very sad.
Life can be horrible.
Oneofthestormboys · 100+, M
That’s a poignant story - thank you for sharing.
Of course you deserved to survive - everyone does - sad truth is that life deals some shitty cards sometimes unfortunately. May your friends rest in peace, and your life be full of happiness x
I hope and pray this Spring goes better. Hami has already had way more than her share of hard time(s).
Eeyore122 · 36-40, F
Oh... :((((((((
Montanaman · M
😔😔💔🙏🤗💞💞
hami1091 · 41-45, F
2cool4school · 46-50, F
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9bOjc70f4p8]

 
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