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Has anyone here ever been stalked?

For those of you who know me know I used to mess with a younger girl about 2 years ago.... it didn't work for several reasons mainly due to the fact that she was very immature & not sweet at all - & had a bit of a hygiene problem but I would never tell her that- (I'm not into attitude/ or that tough act) so I tried to remain friends but I soon realized this was impossible as she would always "try to change my mind" & would say yes let's be friends & when I would completely avoid and or ignore her advances or trying to get close she would completely flip & I would ignore or flat out avoid her....

well I soon realized no, it is impossible for me to try & maintain a friendship so I completely cut her out by ignoring her phone calls / texts etc... well finally she got the point & said since I don't want to talk to her she will stop reaching out, I knew I would miss her friendship but I couldn't be happier, ok after all this I found some one, created this amazing friendship & she turned out to be absolutely wonderful I couldn't have wished for anyone better, & eventually we started dating... yes we have our problems/ issues as I would assume most couples do but I'm very happy with her.....

fast forward a year & a half later & the other friend would constantly call & text.... i ignored .... she later sent me a pic of a birthday card I had given her prior & told me she reads it every time she's feeling down, I thought really hard about responding, posted about it on here wether I should or shouldn't & every single body said the very same thing in different versions , 'NO'!!! Which basically confirmed how I felt... I'll be the 1st to admit that her constant "harassing" at first felt very flattering ..... in the middle it went from flattering to overwhelming like wow!! She doesn't get the point..... to now it's going somewhere else & it's creepy, concerning, & I feel she's doing it maliciously in case I'm dating someone (which of course I will never tell her that I am) ....

it has been 3 nights in a row where she would deliberately call me between 3-4 am in the morning.... I feel this is gonna turn into a big issue in my relationship eventually, & yes I could block her but she'll just call me from another number & yes I could change my number but I've been having my same number for over 10 years.... I would absolutely hate to change my # over a pettyness, I really would love to know how can I address this, I don't want to take stupid actions she's 23 I guess my 1st mistake was messing with someone soo young but at the same time it's her personality I don't think the age alone should justify such ridiculous behavior!!! What would you do?

P.s. (She literally just tried calling me just now this second I swear you can't make this shit up) !!!!!!
curiosi · 61-69, F
Sometimes the only thing some will respond to is being direct. We fear hurting others feelings and rightfully so. However when your own mental health is at risk and you have exhausted the polite route then you have to say sternly "Listen I don't want anything to do with you and if you don't stop I will be forced to get a restraining order!"
Lolco · 36-40, M
My problem exactly!!! I'm just wayyy too nice & polite but obviously that isn't working.... your advice is exactly what I need to do but I don't want her to have a record or having to go to court ect this is crazy I honestly don't understand why someone would try their hardest at being with someone who doesn't feel the same or damn near close, it would never work people need to realize this smh!!!!!
curiosi · 61-69, F
@Lolcox: More then likely the threat of a retraining order will be enough it says I'M SERIOUS!" If not then she might actually be a genuine threat and a restraining order would be necessary.
Lolco · 36-40, M
Never in my life did I think I would find myself in such a situation @curiosi I honestly don't know what to do I think I'm gonna have to go ahead & hurt her feelings & that's not who I am at all, but if she calls 3 more times I'm gonna be horrible towards her : (

Being nice doesn't work I've been trying all along , & being honest & firm doesn't either she will just take that as an opportunity to argue & say all she wants to be is friends but history has shown several times that's not the case & I honestly want nothing outside of a friendship to do with her but that's not gonna be possible...
KaysHealingPath · 36-40, F
Omg nene es que tu eres un pan de dios!!! Pobre chica.

I think you need to be honest with her.
Listen you've been reaching out a lot and I don't think there's a connection between us at least not from my end. We aren't on the same page of many things and maybe it would be best if you stopped calling me.

Bam done
Lolco · 36-40, M
Thank you soo much muñeca for your kind words!!!

I have a feeling that me picking up will completely backfire because of her personality but I seriously need to decide on something to do...

Thank you for always listening 😘
KaysHealingPath · 36-40, F
@Lolcox: nothing beats honesty. If that fails hook her up with a friend lol
For a short time I talked with a man online who turned our silly random conversations into something that meant far more to him than I. He started referring to my kids as his, telling me which schools they ought to be in.
I cut off contact with him, as well as one can online, while still talking to others. I moved states and he contacted me again, under a competently different name of course, telling me the directions from my house to my kids school.
Years later he drove 900 miles to house sit for supposedly a friend who lived half a mile from me. I saw him outside my house at least once a day. I assume he was the guy online who weekly would ask me to send him pictures of my hair....

So yes, I have been stalked. But thankfully somewhere over the years he found someone to marry him so he could cheat on her and continue stalking me when he felt lonely.
EnragedBeauty · 41-45, F
Yikes! Looks like you've got a stage 5 clinger on your hands. 😕 I would tell your new girl what the situation is and just keep ignoring her.
Lolco · 36-40, M
You always hear about things like this or see it in movies ect, & never would think it would happen to you but wow it's just alarming & I actually fully understand how plenty of woman actually feel when certain guys just do not get the point / the message & cant seem to move on , it may seem playful at first but it soon changes... thank you, I would hate to even have to make this a focal point in my relationship this is sooo ridiculous!
EnragedBeauty · 41-45, F
My best friend was being stalked by her boyfriend's ex wife. It started out petty and just kept escalating. I don't think this behaviour has anything to do with age. My bff documented EVERYTHING and eventually had to get a restraining order when the ex wife tried to attack her. I legit thought one day she would come home and find her pets dead or something. Thank god she's no longer with that guy and all is good now, but my point is it can turn out to be serious even though it's just silly and ridiculous now. I'd change my # personally! Good Luck and keep us posted!
Lolco · 36-40, M
@EnragedBeauty: thank you soo much for sharing! I'll definitely keep you guys posted..
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Lolco · 36-40, M
As long as she's cool with it that's ok I see no problem, that's probably a self esteem booster for her but if she ever starts getting uncomfortable it's best that you stop, best of luck
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Lolco · 36-40, M
How do you deal with it?

 
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