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Is it okay to search your child's room, to make sure they aren't doing anything you don't want them to do?

sarabee1995 · 26-30, F

Hmmm... fine line here ... I think just random searches would be an invasion of privacy, but if there are concerns backed by strong indicators then it's not only okay, but probably a parent's responsibility to take some kind of action, including searching any part of their house.

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sarabee1995 · 26-30, F

@Soccerstar: The Detention Center at the Navy base on Guantanamo Bay is outside the US justice system. It is a detention center for "battlefield combatants" or "prisoners of war" ... not a prison where convicted felons are incarcerated. You cannot compare a prisoner of war facility with a prison system. Different rules are used for detention and release.

If you go to war with a neighboring country and you take prisoners in that war, you don't bring them before a judge in your home country and charge them with some kind of criminal offense. That is nonsense. And you certainly don't release them while the conflict is ongoing (although we have released most detainees from GTMO).

SW-User

@sarabee1995: Are you on the debate team in college? Coz you should \(*_*)/

sarabee1995 · 26-30, F

@Alex1610: Lol thanks Alex, I really appreciate that. I do enjoy the art of debate & persuasion, but no, I am not on my school's debate team.

TexChik · F

Children are not entitled to privacy while living in a home where they pay nothing for the privilege , and where the adult/parent are legally responsible for the child's actions. That has nothing to do with respect , and a tactful
Loving parent will preserve that as much a possible . But to answer your question ... does the parent have the right to search their child's room ? ABSOLUTELY! 👍

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😎👍

Pinkrainbowkisses · F

👌

SW-User

Some people would disagree but I have to say yes. Many years ago, a friend of mine was talking to a guy online who was actually a grown man and if her mother would not have searched her room, she would have taken off with a complete stranger possibly never to be seen again.

Pinkrainbowkisses · F

[c=#BF0080]THIS^[/c]

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Thank you 😇💐

wonderland63893 · 26-30, F

No, no way. If you have a good enough relationship with your child, youu should respect their room and be able to ask them out right about what ever it is that youu have concerns about. If youu are having to search your childs room then you need to look at your relationship with your child.

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wonderland63893 · 26-30, F

@Niburu: None. But basing the relationship that I have with my parents, who wouldn't do that to that me because of the relationship we have I wouldn't do that to my future children. How are you going to get your children to trust you if you think that its okay to go and look through their stuff. Your child should be able to go to you as a parent and speak with you and you should be able to speak with your child. I can go and talk to my dad or mum about anything and not worry about what they have to say.

curiosi · 61-69, F

@wonderland You nailed it!!!!

Niburu · 51-55, M

and that's not what happens in the real world until it's too late @wonderland63893: @curiosi:

meJess · F

is it ok to search you parents room to make sure they aren't doing anything they shouldn't? :)

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meJess · F

And is it ok for parents to vent about government invasion of privacy if they search your stuff without telling you? :)

Niburu · 51-55, M

@meJess: I think I'd rather have my parent go through my room than the government.

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@meJess: Lol Not the government

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it's fine to do it if you can live with your kids trusting you even less afterwards

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So it's not fine

DarthMalia · 26-30, F

only when there isnt a tie on the doornob

SW-User

LOL Great answer

DarthMalia · 26-30, F

@Alex1610: thanks lol

Zombee

Well kinda yeah. It depends..

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On what?

Zombee

@Alex1610: On why youd feel the need to search in the first place..Eg. drugs

hunkalove · 61-69, M

I've never had children, but I would hope a parent wouldn't have to do that. My brother was ten years younger than me and we shared a room. I wasn't allowed to even close the door. No privacy, ever!

SW-User

Aww that sucks

SW-User

On the quiet.

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Lol sneaky

Simplicity · 61-69, F

Yes,for drugs guns alcohol,boyfriends or girlfriends hiding in the closet- just joking -illegal things🤔☺

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Totally agree

Niburu · 51-55, M

yes it is perfectly ok
you are the parent, as such you have to doublecheck to make sure your kids aren't getting into anything that will harm them
that's your duty as a parent
as to privacy, you can keep up the pretense up by not trashing their room when looking for contraband

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@Niburu: Why did you ask me how many kids I've raised? :/ Feel free to be blindsided by surprise issues with your future children if you want? What did I ever say to you???? 😦

Niburu · 51-55, M

@Alex1610: I was under the impression this was a discussion of sorts where we make points about the subject at hand and questions to gather what the other person views are coming from and what their knowledge base on the subject is.
From what I've seen thus far, most of the objectors to parental searches are the under 21 crowd and those that have never had kids.

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@Niburu: You could just stop at [quote]if you want to keep the pretense of privacy up yes[/quote]. But no, you chose to provoke me! Do I look like I care about how many kids you've raised?? What did I ever say to you??! What are you trying to prove???? That you're so experienced???? Don't blame on the under 21 crowd! At least they're not as bragging as you!! Also, they don't consider their opinions better than anyone else's!!

plywood · T

It's okay, just be willing to accept what you find.

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And the child's privacy?

plywood · T

@Alex1610: they are your child in your house. Just be willing to accept them for who they are. When mum found my girly things privacy was the least of my concerns. However she was cool with it and accepted me for me.

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@plywood: But the privacy!!!!

Pinkrainbowkisses · F

[c=#BF0080]Yes, it's my house and I'll search when I feel like it. [/c]

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Lol You talk just like my mom!!!!!!!!

Pinkrainbowkisses · F

@Alex1610: [c=#BF0080]LOL! That's because we care. 🙂[/c]

Fun707 · 51-55, M

Yes, your the parent

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Lol

Footballstar · 26-30, M

If you are okay with your child not wanting anything to do with you after you move out then yeah go ahead.
If you have some sort of evidence that leads you to believe there's something bad in their room then that's a different story

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Pinkrainbowkisses · F

@Soccerstar: [c=#BF0080]Everyone's different.. and my kids and I are close. My 20 year old is more like a sister because we're that close.. and she's the one that I had to be the hardest on, so far. I guess the point I was trying to make in all this was not every kid resents their parents for this. To each their own though.[/c]

Footballstar · 26-30, M

I guess it depends on how the parents approach doing it too

Pinkrainbowkisses · F

@Soccerstar: [c=#BF0080]Yes, I do think that has a lot to do with it.. and reassuring them that I wasn't doing this because I didn't trust them. I think that's what makes the difference.[/c]

Umile18

Yes.

SW-User

Fair enough

Subsumedpat · 36-40, M

Yes it is ok and necessary in this day and age as ever. If there is a problem it will come because you were not good at it and got caught or you reacted to something you should have left alone.

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Good point

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

Tough one isn't it ?
Fine if in the nature of your search you find drug paraphinalia or weaponary of some sort. But suppose you find birth control or letters or a diary?