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I Am Feeling Heartbroken

This week has barely begun yet I cannot wait for it to be over. The start of it has left me reeling and gasping for air. Right now my heart is broken in several pieces.

The person I have been dreaming of for so long asks me to give us a shot, but I can't take it. I'm with someone else, and in that moment everything comes back. It happened when I was in the store when I got that message and I froze right there in the middle of the soda isle. All the feelings I had bottled up for him slam back inside my chest. What I thought purged my heart of suddenly comes back without much warning. So for the past two nights I've been crying trying to give the person I'm with a shot, because that's what he asked of me. Don't get me wrong I have feelings for this person I'm with, but nothing compared to the torch I carry for him.

I feel so unbelievably evil right now. I don't want to hurt anybody, but I cannot stand this feeling either. Right now I want so badly to be in his arms, not the person I'm dating, and hear him say how much of a dork I am for over-thinking. Then hear him say exactly how he feels rather than hiding it to spare me any more pain. What he probably does not know is not being with him after finding how he wants to be together hurts so much more than I could have imagined. It's wrong to keep the person I'm with on a string with falseness, and if this feeling of pain continues I'll likely break it off. Not for him though, for the person I'm with, and for myself. They both deserve better than me.
Fauxmyope2 · 26-30, F
The longer that you stay with the guy you are with, the more you will hurt him when you break it off for the other guy. He can probably tell something is wrong already. You are slowly torturing him. Be honest and break it off immediately and nicely.
WolfMaiden · 26-30, F
The last thing I want is to torture anyone. The more people give i hear from the choice seems clearer than it did when i was scratching my mind on my own.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@WolfMaiden: Give this guy you only half love a chance to find someone who can truly and fully appreciate him as you cannot. Respect him enough to believe he can recover from the loss of a woman who has mixed feelings and find someone who is 100% his. Just tell him you love him...but you love someone else more. Then follow your heart.
Harpnlife · 41-45, M
Lord please don't tell him you love him... but love someone else more... That will destroy the kid... Tell him he is great and he treated you better than anyone has, however tell him your not feeling it. Tell him you hope this doesn't set him back and wish him well. If he asks why, tell him it's nothing personal and that it is just time for you to start a new chapter. The feelings of love come and go gradually so in the end it's not a feeling but a choice to love someone.
SW-User
There is nothing wrong with you. You can't stop your feelings. Unfortunately, life is like that. Staying with someone because you don't want to hurt them will end up destroying you. I know because I have done it for 20 years. It only gets worse.
WolfMaiden · 26-30, F
I don't know what to do. At this point it feels like I'm going to hurt someone either way.
SW-User
@WolfMaiden: Sometimes there is no good option, and that can be very difficult. With this, you need to do what is right for you. If you stay with someone while wishing you were with another, he will eventually figure it out. It is kinder to allow him to get on with his life than continuing to give him false hope.
WolfMaiden · 26-30, F
@Laifu1: You're right, and similar advice was given to me by my mom today.

 
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