It seems to me u have a God conscious, a very good one at that point .
See a lot of people that toughen up are full of fear themselves otherwise they wouldn't toughen up do u get me .
Your not a coward i tell u that here and now ,what's calling u the coward is your mind cause u didn't toughen up , and now your mind is trying to catch in all sorts of ways cause your leading a good life .
Thats where the fear is coming in .
See afterwhile say in teenage years (not saying everyone) but the majority of them , there was no talk about listening to your head , you feel free , say in adults (not saying everyone ) but there's a lot of them listening to there head but they never show it or talk about it .
Thata why most adults are unhappy, all over the stuff what your trying to change in yourself , while theres no need too .
If u change that u be hearing other voices at the volume way up in your head .
Trust me on that one .
You won't be calling yourself a coward then cause you be full in pain .
So listen to me . Your doing ok without changing anything in you .
You can have my life and i have your life and trust you be flying back to your life 😂😂😂 .
I know all about what your talking about