I Am Afraid of Being Single Forever
Lately I've been playing a few romance visual novels. It frightens me just a little, because I realized that I get a lot of happiness out of those sorts of things.
I thought about it for a while and realized that those visual novels make me so happy because I simply don't have any sort of relationships in real life like the 'fake' ones that occur on my computer. It feels so fantastic to play these games, because in real life nobody is around to give me a hug when I'm feeling down, or smile at me when I walk into a room.
Being homeschooled means I rarely get to develop relationships outside my family, even small ones. I am alone for most of every day. Having a fake character be unconditionally happy to see me is such a huge relief from that fact, and I can't help but smile when I hear that fake voice warmly speaking to me, no matter what it's saying. I don't need a character confessing her love over and over, often it's just the small connections like a quick smile that brings me that small dose of happiness. To share a moment with another 'person' feels fantastic, even though I know none of it is real.
Maybe it seems sad to fill such an important real life gap with fake relationships and fake characters, but when the rest of the world feels so far away, it's comforting.
I thought about it for a while and realized that those visual novels make me so happy because I simply don't have any sort of relationships in real life like the 'fake' ones that occur on my computer. It feels so fantastic to play these games, because in real life nobody is around to give me a hug when I'm feeling down, or smile at me when I walk into a room.
Being homeschooled means I rarely get to develop relationships outside my family, even small ones. I am alone for most of every day. Having a fake character be unconditionally happy to see me is such a huge relief from that fact, and I can't help but smile when I hear that fake voice warmly speaking to me, no matter what it's saying. I don't need a character confessing her love over and over, often it's just the small connections like a quick smile that brings me that small dose of happiness. To share a moment with another 'person' feels fantastic, even though I know none of it is real.
Maybe it seems sad to fill such an important real life gap with fake relationships and fake characters, but when the rest of the world feels so far away, it's comforting.