The dissonance is messing with my mind..
My dad went to jail for murder when I was 2, there he met one of his bestfriends (also in jail for murder), and that bestfriend became like a father figure to me after my dad passed away when I was 20. When I was 25, he called me to let me know he was going back to jail after he was wanted for leaving the country and deemed "dangerous"..
My security guard/"friend" for years, was wanted and on Europe's most wanted list a few years ago for a brutal rape.
My "bestfriend" growing up went to jail for attempted murder after he stabbed a random woman walking alone around 16 times in her back and neck. He then "sold" me to an inmate while he was in jail. This inmate called me to meet, I said hell no and he threatened to show up at my door (I had moved away, thankfully).
My dad was the best dad in the world. He messed up, and when he got out I was afraid of him so it took me a long time to feel comfortable at his place, because of his anger - and he had no idea how to raise a child. But he was never violent, never mean or dismissive. He had the biggest heart, and always told me to never judge people based on where they're from or what they believe in, or look like - only judge people based on their actions. He understood me, and helped me a lot - specially during my teenage years, instead of yelling he would talk to me about things I went through and relate it to his own experiences from growing up. So when I read a forum discussing his case it broke my heart that people wished bad on my dad. What happened was self-defense, but ofc that don't bring that other man back. It's been messing with my mind since I was a kid basically.
His friend as well, is one of the most caring, kind people I've met. He helped me plan my dads funeral, drove me around, called to check on me, took me to eat and so on, yet he's been in jail for murder. It doesn't connect for me.
The security didn't shock me as much, I've seen him brutally beating people, including one episode where I stepped in since no one else did, when he was kicking a guy in the head that was laying on the ground. I can't watch that and say nothing. But seeing his wanted profile was still shocking with the "dangerous" label on it. Cause I personally never felt like I was in danger around him, quite the opposite..
My childhood "bestfriend" shocked me, I had been trying to get away from him for a while, and right before this he asked me to be his gf, I said no. I was supposed to be with him that day, but stayed home. It shocked me that he could do something like that, but at the same time, he's hurt me many times since I was like 12, and my friends so it really shouldn't have. He's a psychopath (in my opinion). He got out early on good behavior and is one of the reasons why I moved away, cause I was scared of him, still am - I actually had a nightmare about him last night 🥺
It's weird to love someone (my dad and his friend) that's done something so horrible.. Specially when whenever I hear someone else doing something bad I never think twice about who they are to someone or what happened, I immediately deem them dangerous and evil, just like people have done with my dad..
My security guard/"friend" for years, was wanted and on Europe's most wanted list a few years ago for a brutal rape.
My "bestfriend" growing up went to jail for attempted murder after he stabbed a random woman walking alone around 16 times in her back and neck. He then "sold" me to an inmate while he was in jail. This inmate called me to meet, I said hell no and he threatened to show up at my door (I had moved away, thankfully).
My dad was the best dad in the world. He messed up, and when he got out I was afraid of him so it took me a long time to feel comfortable at his place, because of his anger - and he had no idea how to raise a child. But he was never violent, never mean or dismissive. He had the biggest heart, and always told me to never judge people based on where they're from or what they believe in, or look like - only judge people based on their actions. He understood me, and helped me a lot - specially during my teenage years, instead of yelling he would talk to me about things I went through and relate it to his own experiences from growing up. So when I read a forum discussing his case it broke my heart that people wished bad on my dad. What happened was self-defense, but ofc that don't bring that other man back. It's been messing with my mind since I was a kid basically.
His friend as well, is one of the most caring, kind people I've met. He helped me plan my dads funeral, drove me around, called to check on me, took me to eat and so on, yet he's been in jail for murder. It doesn't connect for me.
The security didn't shock me as much, I've seen him brutally beating people, including one episode where I stepped in since no one else did, when he was kicking a guy in the head that was laying on the ground. I can't watch that and say nothing. But seeing his wanted profile was still shocking with the "dangerous" label on it. Cause I personally never felt like I was in danger around him, quite the opposite..
My childhood "bestfriend" shocked me, I had been trying to get away from him for a while, and right before this he asked me to be his gf, I said no. I was supposed to be with him that day, but stayed home. It shocked me that he could do something like that, but at the same time, he's hurt me many times since I was like 12, and my friends so it really shouldn't have. He's a psychopath (in my opinion). He got out early on good behavior and is one of the reasons why I moved away, cause I was scared of him, still am - I actually had a nightmare about him last night 🥺
It's weird to love someone (my dad and his friend) that's done something so horrible.. Specially when whenever I hear someone else doing something bad I never think twice about who they are to someone or what happened, I immediately deem them dangerous and evil, just like people have done with my dad..
