I Miss My Childhood

My boy is an introvert like me but one thing I notice about him is that he never gives up the chance to visit his grandparents if he knows that his cousins and aunt and uncle would be there too. Maybe the fact of the matter is that no matter how solitary one is, one will also have a herd instinct too, to huddle with those closest to us in order to have a sense of safety and security.

I must have been around seven years old. It is a beautiful evening at East Coast Park and my relatives have gathered at the beach. We are sitting on mats laid out on the sand. We just had our dinner of beehoon (skinny white noodles) drizzled with curry and I am lying on Granny's lap. Mom is talking with Third Aunt. The kids are all quiet now. There is a gentle sea breeze and Granny is stroking my hair. I can hear the adults' low voices talking about trivial things. It gives me an indescribable feeling of warmth and safety.

This image comes to my mind often when I think of a time I truly felt safe and contented. With the passing of time, it becomes all the more precious because I think after that one time, I never did feel it again in all its fullness.

I do not know why or how we become alienated from those closest to us. But for my boy, I would not deny him the time to be with people, particularly people in the family he wants to be close to. Maybe one day he will find comfort in a memory dear to him too.