Do I matter?

I've been battling with that thought. I probably asked my mom a lot too. She would tell me that I'm here for you. But I'm scared to trust anyone.

Sadly, I feel like a waste of space.

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MellyMel22 · F

Of course you matter!

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Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@MellyMel22 I was high when I posted this.

Now that I'm sober. It's a reassurance that I have no value whatsoever lol.

Thank you though.

MellyMel22 · F

@Beatbox34 Well I was sober both days and you are worth it. Distance yourself from those who make you feel like you aren’t.

Bklynbadboy12 · 31-35, M

@MellyMel22 Awwwww

SW-User

You do matter to yourself and the ones that love you. To hell with the rest. Each person only cares about themselves. If you don’t like yourself then you’ll be unhappy. Enjoy life and love yourself.

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SW-User

Please get help. Talk to your mother or a friend. We all are depressed. You aren’t the only one. @Beatbox34

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@SW-User I'm aware. I'm not comparing others to myself. I never meant in that intent either.

I just stopped caring. I don't need help anymore. Thing is people are not worth it anymore.

SW-User

@Beatbox34 what can I say but I wish you good luck. People on here care about you because you’re a good person.

SW-User

You are going to die, and that makes you one of the luckiest people who has ever lived.

Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in your place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of the Sahara.

Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here.

We privileged few, of which you are one, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred?

Life is for living. You do matter! Enjoy!

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@SW-User Thanks. I wish I did.

I'm just lost at this moment.

SW-User

@Beatbox34 We all feel like that. But every day is a new day, and a new life. You literally cannot live more than one day at a time.

There's only us, there's only this;
Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.
No other road, no other way;
No day but today.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@SW-User Thank you for this

InvictusIndigo · 22-25, M

The fact that you exist in this moment in this instance in all of time and space? That's no accident, you're no accident, and you're no waste. You have a purpose and you matter no matter what anyone else says.

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@InvictusIndigo I know.

I wish I didn't exist. I'm tripping lol

InvictusIndigo · 22-25, M

@Beatbox34 Well I'm glad that you do exist 💙

SW-User

Tbh don't depend on anyone for emotional support. Because only you will not fail yourself. Believe in yourself, try to make a world of ur own, spend time with yourself, try going out alone for a meal or drink. Find happiness in ur own company

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@SW-User I understand that train of thought. It's the only thing one can do to survive.

MoonlightLullaby

It's way past time.....💚💚💚

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@MoonlightLullaby Why do I have a hard time believing it 😔

MoonlightLullaby

@Beatbox34 It truly hurts my heart to know such a tender hearted and selfless person such as yourself feels this way. You matter to many people here, just look at those of us trying to convince you of that. Hopefully you can find even more assurance in the fact that we've been throwing comment love & support for quite some time now. It's because we've seen the beautiful soul behind the depressive posts and I don't think anyone is planning on giving up & not helping you remember.

You're more than capable of being loved, but you've invested your love in the wrong people. You're scarred, bruised, weakened and scared because of those trials. This is the time to invest that same love into yourself because you owe yourself that much. Self love is the greatest love of all and I can promise you, once you learn to love yourself, your life will change dramatically. Perhaps it's time to seek some professional help now that you're sober. I'd hate to see you relapse on something you've worked on immensely. Quite honestly, that seems like an inadvertent step towards self love. Just try to talk to a counselor. Please. 🌷💖

Beatbox34 · 31-35, M

@MoonlightLullaby I'm making a huge effort by staying sober. It's a very hard step given how I relied on it since this year begun but I'll give it up. I need to and I will eventually.

I might end up taking therapy soon too. I need to get a lot of stuff in my head cleared. Thank you again so much for this 🤗