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foldedunfolding · 36-40, F
oh man dude..am i surrounded by onions????
kimmuhfknkim420 · 36-40, F
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@kimmuhfknkim420 oh no wonder I haven't seen you around before 😅 but hi 👋 nice to meet you. What brought you here?
Busybee333 · 31-35, F
Sometimes you try to run away from what you feel but.. some emotions demand your attention. The best way out is through them. Sometimes you have to sit at the bottom of your heart and listen to all its' cries you've been trying to muffle because you are strong. Your strength has one more step to grow: let the pain flow through you and out of you. It is okay to sit with your pain. Don't worry, your legs still know how to hold you up, but your mind is not in command enough anymore - feel what you need to feel and mourn what you need to mourn to its greatest depths. Be gentle to yourself. Try to take healthy general every day decisions and small steps until your mind clears. When you can see through the fog, you will feel liberated and ready to let go of the pain and remember only the lesson. That is when you will feel better. Stay strong and keep taking a small step every day. You can always take one more step.
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@Busybee333 I'm SUPERRRR late with this comment but I'm barely seeing it for the first time. Sorry I missed it 🙏 thank you for your words.your very right. We have to let go & hurt through it. We have to let ourselves break & put the pieces back together
Busybee333 · 31-35, F
@ChiefWalksWith40oz Every time you recollect yourself, you gain resilience. Remember to cry when you need to.. but also to laugh as much as you can. Life with humor is always fresh :)
PoeticPlay · 51-55, M
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@PoeticPlay real shit 🙏 thanks for that one
PoeticPlay · 51-55, M
Bang5luts · M
I sent you a private message sometime is asking people to say something to you
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
Well, I joined the day this place opened (yes, I was an EP refugee), but I don't think we ever chatted when you were here last.
Thanks for sharing all this. I'm so sorry for all you went through, especially the dogs. I love dogs and can't imagine your pain that day. 😥
I'm glad to hear life is trending upward.
Thanks for sharing all this. I'm so sorry for all you went through, especially the dogs. I love dogs and can't imagine your pain that day. 😥
I'm glad to hear life is trending upward.
View 3 more replies »
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
@ChiefWalksWith40oz That's a good idea with the family dog thing. That's what our two were. M&D got them when we were babies so we literally grew up with the pups. :)
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@sarabee1995 thats cute 😌 aw.. now that makes me imagine how sad my kids will be when our family dog passes 😭 but I'm thinking too far ahead. It'll be a lovely dog 😁
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
@ChiefWalksWith40oz They will be filled with so many amazing memories and will learn how to deal with deep loss. They will be emotionally mature, well rounded kids.
trackboy · 22-25, M
any idea why both houses burned down?? seems like they burn really fast too even with the chalkboard walls that should be fire resistant as the chalk is fireproof. the chalkboard is put on over the lumber then some pasture that is also fireproof is spread on over that then the paint is put on. good, you survived your suicide attempt. 🍫
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@trackboy first one was from a candle that was left burning inside. It started in the living room. The second one was from someone who intentionally poured gas along the back wall to set it on fire purposefully. Long story.
Thanks though I appreciate it 🙏
Thanks though I appreciate it 🙏
This message was deleted by the author of the main post.
Dusty101 · F
Reading this did not waste my time, how bloody courageous of you to run in and try and save your beloved dogs, 😭, the aftermath must have been so torturing for you. Omg, I can't even or want to imagine that ever. My boo cat is my world, it would destroy me.
And saving your cat and babies, and sisters dog, must have been pure relief, so glad you are in a better and stable place in your life. It must feel liberating. I hope you are in a safer home and no more unlucky misfortunes, strange and bizarre how things happen twice, so unfortunate. Our house flooded twice during two separate storms, the river burst it banks, not as harrowing as a fire by no means, but loosing everything effected my mother mentally! Baby photo albums, letters from her parents, Vinal albums she collected, that got all warped. It broke her. I guess music and paper can be so valuable to someone, pets were fine as they jumped high on kitchen counters!
So thrilled to hear you have changed your life around! 🤗🤗🤗
And saving your cat and babies, and sisters dog, must have been pure relief, so glad you are in a better and stable place in your life. It must feel liberating. I hope you are in a safer home and no more unlucky misfortunes, strange and bizarre how things happen twice, so unfortunate. Our house flooded twice during two separate storms, the river burst it banks, not as harrowing as a fire by no means, but loosing everything effected my mother mentally! Baby photo albums, letters from her parents, Vinal albums she collected, that got all warped. It broke her. I guess music and paper can be so valuable to someone, pets were fine as they jumped high on kitchen counters!
So thrilled to hear you have changed your life around! 🤗🤗🤗
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@Dusty101 that sucks I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's not easy to learn everything like that. Especially things you can't replace like those pictures & letters. I kinda learned that you can't replace life either. But shits an interesting journey along the way so idk.. I'm glad to still be here making the best of things.
Thanks for stopping by 🤗
Thanks for stopping by 🤗
Fluffybull · F
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@Fluffybull thanks 😌🤗 I like being back but I miss some of the people who've left. I get it though, I don't blame anybody for leaving. I didn't even think about coming back until the only person I kept in touch with suggested it
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@DearAmbellina2113 Thanks, I try to look at it the same way too. Life's been a series of fall after fall but I'm kind of thankful for how much I've learned at this point. I've done a lot of stupid things but I'm not an idiot anymore
ExtremeNext · 31-35
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@ExtremeNext hey maybe that's what I remember you from 😂
Fluffybull · F
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@Fluffybull nice to meet you as well 😌
Dainbramadge · 56-60, M
I was on my way to respond to yesterday's post and I found this one.
I may have some years on you but it doesn't look like I have much life ahead of you.
While I was reading this so many things struck me. I started to actually write notes so I could cover them in my comment. LOL
The first one's kind of silly but I have to share with you being as you have first-hand experience.
I always said that if my house caught fire I would die before I would let my pet suffer and die.
I guess that is just a fuzzy thought we tell ourselves when we have no idea what it's really like. I was talking to a real fireman one day about going into a burning house. He told me they don't go in the part that's burning. LOL sorry this happened to you and I will explain that even more in a minute.
By the way I love reading your stuff. Not just because it is so relatable but your style of writing is very appealing. I like how you convey a thought. Very easy to read.
Okay I guess it wasn't that much later that I wanted to share this with you
I had a lab mix. My first dog and I didn't even want him to start with. Too much responsibility for me at the time. He was pretty much pushed on me so I took him home. For 14 years he was my best friend. The only time we ever spent apart was when me and my brother vacation on our motorcycles.
Very very very long story short I had to have him put down after the little idiot showed me that he could not acclimate to a family life. He was still acting like I was single even 6 years after the fact. It hurt so bad that even around 15 years later I can't talk about it without tearing up.
I write that part and very modestly.
I know what it's like to lose a pet. And I also know what it's like to never want another one because of the attachment and the pain that is inevitable. I will never have another dog because I will never put myself through that again.
Now even though we have already, in the past 48 hours, established that there is a connection between us of some form. Something that you wrote resonated so hard with me because it is an analogy that I use all the time.
If I could go back in time and change just one thing about my life.
I have mauled this over for years and years. We both know why we have thought of this and I will skip it because that would take about a year and a half to write even with talk to text. LOL
But seriously, every time I would ask myself the question of what aspect would I change I come up with the same answer. The same answer I get when someone ask what your three wishes would be. Well there's a slight alteration to that one.
I would not change a single aspect, a single moment any outcome from my past.
In my case I wouldn't change any of that because I would be so afraid it would change my relationship with my kids. I love that just as it is.
Because like we talked about on another comment, if I changed something miserable and horrible from my past I wouldn't have that experience knowledge to protect my kids from now. I'm sure you can make heads or tails from that statement. LOL
You mentioned something that caused me to make another cryptic note that I will touch on.
I'm very impressed with your friends situation. Cutting loose the dead ends is very hard to do even with the ones you thought were the closest.
It's all of the caterpillar shedding the old to become the new.
I know this is a long comment but I guess if I was you I would just say oh look there's another Dain novel length comment. LOL
I have only started to stock your profile so be prepared for more of these very soon. :-)
I may have some years on you but it doesn't look like I have much life ahead of you.
While I was reading this so many things struck me. I started to actually write notes so I could cover them in my comment. LOL
The first one's kind of silly but I have to share with you being as you have first-hand experience.
I always said that if my house caught fire I would die before I would let my pet suffer and die.
I guess that is just a fuzzy thought we tell ourselves when we have no idea what it's really like. I was talking to a real fireman one day about going into a burning house. He told me they don't go in the part that's burning. LOL sorry this happened to you and I will explain that even more in a minute.
By the way I love reading your stuff. Not just because it is so relatable but your style of writing is very appealing. I like how you convey a thought. Very easy to read.
Okay I guess it wasn't that much later that I wanted to share this with you
I had a lab mix. My first dog and I didn't even want him to start with. Too much responsibility for me at the time. He was pretty much pushed on me so I took him home. For 14 years he was my best friend. The only time we ever spent apart was when me and my brother vacation on our motorcycles.
Very very very long story short I had to have him put down after the little idiot showed me that he could not acclimate to a family life. He was still acting like I was single even 6 years after the fact. It hurt so bad that even around 15 years later I can't talk about it without tearing up.
I write that part and very modestly.
I know what it's like to lose a pet. And I also know what it's like to never want another one because of the attachment and the pain that is inevitable. I will never have another dog because I will never put myself through that again.
Now even though we have already, in the past 48 hours, established that there is a connection between us of some form. Something that you wrote resonated so hard with me because it is an analogy that I use all the time.
If I could go back in time and change just one thing about my life.
I have mauled this over for years and years. We both know why we have thought of this and I will skip it because that would take about a year and a half to write even with talk to text. LOL
But seriously, every time I would ask myself the question of what aspect would I change I come up with the same answer. The same answer I get when someone ask what your three wishes would be. Well there's a slight alteration to that one.
I would not change a single aspect, a single moment any outcome from my past.
In my case I wouldn't change any of that because I would be so afraid it would change my relationship with my kids. I love that just as it is.
Because like we talked about on another comment, if I changed something miserable and horrible from my past I wouldn't have that experience knowledge to protect my kids from now. I'm sure you can make heads or tails from that statement. LOL
You mentioned something that caused me to make another cryptic note that I will touch on.
I'm very impressed with your friends situation. Cutting loose the dead ends is very hard to do even with the ones you thought were the closest.
It's all of the caterpillar shedding the old to become the new.
I know this is a long comment but I guess if I was you I would just say oh look there's another Dain novel length comment. LOL
I have only started to stock your profile so be prepared for more of these very soon. :-)
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@Dainbramadge Its funny because when I was young I remember having those conversations with people about "if your house was on fire, what would you save first?". The answers were always things not worth risking your life for at all. Some people would say their phone, some said their PlayStation, or something material in their life that's ultimately replaceable. Fact is nobody ever just said they would get out & not worry about anything. Never in my life did I think of it as an actual event I would have to deal with one day. You know, it's that 'you see bad shit all the time but what are the odds it would happen to you' type of mindset. But fact of the matter is it's gotta happen to somebody. It could be you just as well as the next person.
Never did I think that the one & only thing I cared about would be my pets but it taught me a lot. When everything's burning down right in front of you, you never know what you'd actually do until you're in that situation. When I see movies where someone runs into a burning house or building to save someone it really bugs me how unrealistic it is. You can't actually see anything they way they show in movies. I was squinting as much as possible & still had trouble. Smoke is not fun in your eyes. You can't even take one breath because as soon as you do that smoke is just too much for you to inhale. I threw up instantly. If the firemen hadn't showed up at that moment I would've passed out right there. After they got me out of the fire they took me off the property completely & I couldn't stand to watch the house burn knowing that I couldn't do anything. I walked away & sat on a sidewalk blocks away. When I got back, the fire was already out & that's when they were pulling my dogs out. Both Chihuahuas died from smoke inhalation, but my pitbull died stuck to the door of my room, completely burnt. I still laid down with them, pet them, & hugged them, like they were alive.
I was exhausted but I still found the strength to dig their graves & bury them after. There was a friend there who helped me bury my dogs too. When I would get tired, he would take the shovel & we went back & forth. Fucked up thing is he's the same man who set my next house on fire months later. As if he tried to play on the way that affected me. I still want him dead but he's in prison right now so I can't do anything. Luckily I have certain connections that are making sure his time isn't easy.. I just wish I could do it myself. But that's just the old side of me that still wants vengeance. I'd rather not run into him because I don't want to go to prison over a piece of shit.
I'm getting too off topic though. Anyways the shit both you & I have been through are a blessing & a curse. Its a curse because of the obvious.. it sucks. But it's a blessing because we can speak from experience when we tell someone "hey you shouldn't do that". Like your kids for example. That's why I wouldn't change anything either. Not that I'm trying to compliment myself but would anybody think of me as wise if what I learned was just from movie quotes & Instagram captions? Anybody can repeat something, not everyone can say it with their heart & make you feel it in yours as well. That's a power you have that can not only feed your white wolf, but feed your children's as well
Never did I think that the one & only thing I cared about would be my pets but it taught me a lot. When everything's burning down right in front of you, you never know what you'd actually do until you're in that situation. When I see movies where someone runs into a burning house or building to save someone it really bugs me how unrealistic it is. You can't actually see anything they way they show in movies. I was squinting as much as possible & still had trouble. Smoke is not fun in your eyes. You can't even take one breath because as soon as you do that smoke is just too much for you to inhale. I threw up instantly. If the firemen hadn't showed up at that moment I would've passed out right there. After they got me out of the fire they took me off the property completely & I couldn't stand to watch the house burn knowing that I couldn't do anything. I walked away & sat on a sidewalk blocks away. When I got back, the fire was already out & that's when they were pulling my dogs out. Both Chihuahuas died from smoke inhalation, but my pitbull died stuck to the door of my room, completely burnt. I still laid down with them, pet them, & hugged them, like they were alive.
I was exhausted but I still found the strength to dig their graves & bury them after. There was a friend there who helped me bury my dogs too. When I would get tired, he would take the shovel & we went back & forth. Fucked up thing is he's the same man who set my next house on fire months later. As if he tried to play on the way that affected me. I still want him dead but he's in prison right now so I can't do anything. Luckily I have certain connections that are making sure his time isn't easy.. I just wish I could do it myself. But that's just the old side of me that still wants vengeance. I'd rather not run into him because I don't want to go to prison over a piece of shit.
I'm getting too off topic though. Anyways the shit both you & I have been through are a blessing & a curse. Its a curse because of the obvious.. it sucks. But it's a blessing because we can speak from experience when we tell someone "hey you shouldn't do that". Like your kids for example. That's why I wouldn't change anything either. Not that I'm trying to compliment myself but would anybody think of me as wise if what I learned was just from movie quotes & Instagram captions? Anybody can repeat something, not everyone can say it with their heart & make you feel it in yours as well. That's a power you have that can not only feed your white wolf, but feed your children's as well
Dainbramadge · 56-60, M
@ChiefWalksWith40oz where you say that you never know what you will do for sure until you are actually in the situation is very dead nuts on.
There are many situations that I have been in where someone will say if that was me. It all goes back to the fight flight or freeze scenario
It's a hardwired thing. I think that people wish they were all fights but in reality I think there are a lot more freezes out there that wish they were fight. To average Joe schmo fight sounds more heroic. But in reality I think we both know that sometimes flight would be nice.
You talking about movies being so unrealistic when they depict it burning house in the thickness of smoke that it produces. The fact that it immediately took your breath away and there was no recovering from it. It's pretty hard to breathe when you are puking and the only thing you have to breathe in after that or in between pukes is caustic smoke. This too I can relate to. Not because I was in a house fire but because I mixed bleach and toilet bowl cleaner accidentally in the toilet in a very small bathroom. You know that b******* they say about housewives doing that and dying from it? Well it's all true. It is instantaneous. As soon as the toilet bowl cleaner hit the water a clear wall of caustic fumes filled the room. I had already exhaled and when I tried to inhale it burned and stopped me from taking any more in. Almost involuntary. Thankfully the bathroom was small and it was only two large steps out the door. A door that I also slammed shut on my way out. LOL. Turns out that happens to women and they take a full breath of air and pass out immediately and then subsequently they die by suffocation.
I believe that you and I are going to get a lot of usage out of the phrase speaking from experience. LOL.
There are many situations that I have been in where someone will say if that was me. It all goes back to the fight flight or freeze scenario
It's a hardwired thing. I think that people wish they were all fights but in reality I think there are a lot more freezes out there that wish they were fight. To average Joe schmo fight sounds more heroic. But in reality I think we both know that sometimes flight would be nice.
You talking about movies being so unrealistic when they depict it burning house in the thickness of smoke that it produces. The fact that it immediately took your breath away and there was no recovering from it. It's pretty hard to breathe when you are puking and the only thing you have to breathe in after that or in between pukes is caustic smoke. This too I can relate to. Not because I was in a house fire but because I mixed bleach and toilet bowl cleaner accidentally in the toilet in a very small bathroom. You know that b******* they say about housewives doing that and dying from it? Well it's all true. It is instantaneous. As soon as the toilet bowl cleaner hit the water a clear wall of caustic fumes filled the room. I had already exhaled and when I tried to inhale it burned and stopped me from taking any more in. Almost involuntary. Thankfully the bathroom was small and it was only two large steps out the door. A door that I also slammed shut on my way out. LOL. Turns out that happens to women and they take a full breath of air and pass out immediately and then subsequently they die by suffocation.
I believe that you and I are going to get a lot of usage out of the phrase speaking from experience. LOL.
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@Dainbramadge yeah everyone's gonna say that they'll fight but most who say that would actually flight or freeze, they're just saying what they'd [i]want[/i] to do. Its all a good idea till you're actually in the middle of it. I honestly feel like most people wouldn't even have ran into the fire the way I did but idk.. I've done a lot of crazy things in my life. That wouldn't really be the boldest. I just felt shitty that I couldn't actually do what I'd hoped to. I bet most of the people who think they would run into a fire probably also think they'd be successful.. which is possible but it's a lot harder than just thoughts & ideas.
Even the bathroom thing you mentioned is dangerous as hell. Its scary as fuck when you already can't breathe so your body does that natural reaction deep inhale & even then it literally feels like choking on air. Its no joke.
Even the bathroom thing you mentioned is dangerous as hell. Its scary as fuck when you already can't breathe so your body does that natural reaction deep inhale & even then it literally feels like choking on air. Its no joke.
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
akindheart · 61-69, F
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@akindheart I'm just glad I'm here to share 😌 & it's nice to meet you too
Peaches · F
WOW!😔You've sure had some major "growing pains" haven't you?! They say "no pain no gain," and you look like you've made it so far.⭐Glad you got away from selling drugs, that killed my brother years ago. I'm so sorry to hear about your dogs 🐕💔🐶 and so glad you didn't lose your own life trying to save them! Why did both houses burn down? Were you a "cooker"?
SW has change A LOT since you've been here. I hope you find old friends and make new ones. Thanks for sharing your story. 😊💓
SW has change A LOT since you've been here. I hope you find old friends and make new ones. Thanks for sharing your story. 😊💓
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@Peaches "growing pains" is a great way of putting it lol. I feel like I've gone through a lot for my age but I'm grateful for everything I've learned. I'm very sorry to hear about your brother too 🥺 I've been in situations where I could've lost my life many times.. I've been in shootouts over stupid things & I feel stupid looking back now. Maybe I simply got my karma in some ways..
But no I didn't cook 😅 the first fire was from a candle left burning on an AC unit. The 2nd fire was because somebody intentionally set it on fire. A neighbor caught it on his security cam & that guy is in prison now. I didn't snitch but I didn't have to. He got caught on his own. I still hope I don't run into him one day because idk what I'd do. I let him into my home, looked out for him when nobody else did. I didn't deserve what he put my family through
I'm happy to be back here though 😌 the good people are still really great & I like talking with everyone & hearing their stories too
But no I didn't cook 😅 the first fire was from a candle left burning on an AC unit. The 2nd fire was because somebody intentionally set it on fire. A neighbor caught it on his security cam & that guy is in prison now. I didn't snitch but I didn't have to. He got caught on his own. I still hope I don't run into him one day because idk what I'd do. I let him into my home, looked out for him when nobody else did. I didn't deserve what he put my family through
I'm happy to be back here though 😌 the good people are still really great & I like talking with everyone & hearing their stories too
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
SW-User
@ChiefWalksWith40oz You evolved and now you are the Chief!🤗
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
Mamapolo2016 · F
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@Mamapolo2016 I appreciate that 🤗 I've always loved writing. I feel like it's one of my stronger suits, although if you heard me talking in person I cuss too much & use a lot of slang 😅
Thank you though. We all have a story & none of them are easy. I'm just happy to share mine
Thank you though. We all have a story & none of them are easy. I'm just happy to share mine
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ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
@nightjourney very true, we don't go through things we aren't capable of handling. We only choose if it'll knock us out down or give us something to stand on
& Well I'm glad you're here 🤗
& Well I'm glad you're here 🤗
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
ChiefWalksWith40oz · 26-30
SW-User
@ChiefWalksWith40oz Yup I’m counting my blessings bc i was patient lol; and true sw is the social media i have been consistent on haha