How can I feel like a true adult?
With her own rights, wants, and permission to mess up? To feel I CAN say what I want, speak up, and not always be the shy people pleaser to everyone?????
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DragonFruit · 61-69, M
Being an adult and feeling like an adult are two different things.
You can be an adult and still feel reluctant to say and do what you want (in fact, that can sometimes be the most adult thing you can do in a particular situation).
However, you have to know when to speak your mind and to not feel bad about speaking your mind in other situations where you don’t need to be as delicate with another’s feelings.
When you can feel that you know when to speak up and when not to, you will feel more comfortable about yourself as an adult.....and when you can deal with not always making the right choice, and not have it upset you more than it should, this will also make you feel more comfortable about yourself as an adult.
Don’t expect it to happen suddenly, but over time you can start to trust your own judgment as much or more than that of the people you are dealing with.
You can be an adult and still feel reluctant to say and do what you want (in fact, that can sometimes be the most adult thing you can do in a particular situation).
However, you have to know when to speak your mind and to not feel bad about speaking your mind in other situations where you don’t need to be as delicate with another’s feelings.
When you can feel that you know when to speak up and when not to, you will feel more comfortable about yourself as an adult.....and when you can deal with not always making the right choice, and not have it upset you more than it should, this will also make you feel more comfortable about yourself as an adult.
Don’t expect it to happen suddenly, but over time you can start to trust your own judgment as much or more than that of the people you are dealing with.
That sounds like an adult to me. People think being an adult is having everything together but that is a lie. Being an adult is making one mistake after another. The difference is how you handle the setbacks. Do you learn from them and move on. Or do you keep making the same mistakes and have a tantrum in a crowded mall from not getting your way. But instead throw a fit that someone is recording you throwing a fit. (it's specific cause I literally saw a grown woman on the floor kicking and screaming like a toddler that needs a nap) That isn't an adult at all.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@canusernamebemyusername Thanks, i just feel like such a shell of a person. Weak, broken. Always seems like true adults identify their needs, and then fulfill them, without thinking do they deserve it or if they should..
PoetryNEmotion · F
Why do you want to please everyone? What is wrong with pleasing you? Living life the way you want? You should say how you feel. Speak up. You are the most important person in the world. At the end of the day, it is you who has to be happy. Did you forget about you, Coralmist?
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PoetryNEmotion · F
@Coralmist You can make small changes, Coralmist. I don't know if you have a therapist or can join a support group. You have the right to be who you want to be. I cannot say it will be easy, but you recognize you have a problem. Now to solve it. You cannot always give. You must get for yourself too. Can you do one tiny thing for you each day? Set a goal. Work on that. Then keep making goals and achieving them. Even trying is a good effort. Does this help at all? I feel for you. Someone suggest that to write positive affirmations and post them in your home-in front of your mirror, on your walls, etc. may help. It will remind you. You have been through trauma and it takes time to change.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@PoetryNEmotion Thank you Poetry...The problem is believing i deserve the joy FROM meeting a goal. To believe I have a right to bigger things. I know maybe they didnt realize this is how a person would feel after daily criticism and chaos, but its what happens:you dont believe you even have a right to love or things FOR you.
cycleman · 61-69, M
I tell myself "I am what I am, be Happy!"
It has been a long process and understanding how I have been my own worst enemy with my reactions from what I heard from more horrible people. I used their horrible words to self destruct myself. I left and it has taken me a decade to really feel happy, I know I ain't joyous with glee, but least I am not feeling destroyed nor negative against myself.
It has been a long process and understanding how I have been my own worst enemy with my reactions from what I heard from more horrible people. I used their horrible words to self destruct myself. I left and it has taken me a decade to really feel happy, I know I ain't joyous with glee, but least I am not feeling destroyed nor negative against myself.
JohnnyNoir · 56-60, M
1LostNForgotten · 36-40, M
11knaves11 · 41-45, M
Make money
Lilnonames · F