Is there anything a parent can do about relational bullying?

Relational bullying or relational aggression is the intention to harm others through deliberate manipulation of their social standing and relationships. For example: spreading rumors about someone so others won't like them or asking someone to join their group and then at the last minute excluding them. If you are on good terms with the parent of the child doing the bullying is it ok to talk to that parent about it?

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QuixoticSoul · 41-45, M

My father taught me some basic takedowns, and a good right cross - haven’t failed me yet, though I greatly expanded the repertoire since then.

Certain problems in life have Russian solutions.

AthrillatheHunt · 51-55, M

@QuixoticSoul vodka ? Lol

QuixoticSoul · 41-45, M

@AthrillatheHunt Sometimes that too 🤷‍♂️

morrgin · F

@QuixoticSoul my one friend had the strong suggestion to go beat up the moms of the kids lol

BananaBrown · 41-45, F

I feel the best bet would be for the child being bullied to learn how to recognize this kind of behavior in his/her peers, and how to separate themselves from it. Learn the signs, know your own value, and feel confident walking away from people that act in such a manner. When you have good self esteem and self respect, and when you learn to set healthy boundaries, it’s easier respond in an appropriate way. Unfortunately we can’t change other people, but we can decide how we react to them.

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RedBaron · M

@BananaBrown Not everyone can afford therapy.

BananaBrown · 41-45, F

@RedBaron That’s true. Sadly

chrisCA · M

@RedBaron The money would be better spent on boxing lessons.

ozgirl512 · 26-30, F

I would, not only the parents but if it's school based, then talk to them too. Often the parents don't know and it's their reasoning to sort it... If they don't then the school should step in

Fluffybull · F

Parents should step in to stop bullying.

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RedBaron · M

@REMsleep Call it "relational" or whatever the latest fashionable buzzword is, but bullying is bullying is bullying.

morrgin · F

@REMsleep your right there isn't alot to do. I can only step in if it starts getting habitually cruel. Until then I can only be supportive, talk about alternative reactions, keep her active with activities, do good with homework, remind her of her good qualities, and help her stay in contact with her friendships she has outside of school.

REMsleep · 41-45, F

@morrgin I think that you are correct. Oftentimes these parents know what kind of child that they have and they oftem pick up nasty behavior from the parents themselves.
I would encourage your daughter to join an activity in order to widen her circle and make sure never to let the bully see you sweat. They feed on fear and weakness.

REMsleep · 41-45, F

It depends. You will never protect your child totally from this type of stuff so a good deal of the action needs to be with how your child is taught to deal with it.
This is a great time to learn a life long lesson about relationships skills and inner strength, handling hard situations.
Mostly if you get invovled in this type of catty child's play you will be seen as overprotective and your child will get the worst of it from his or her peers later on.
I say all this without knowing details.

morrgin · F

@REMsleep she was friends with the girl in 5th grade and they played all through the summer together. Then today was the second day of middle school and her friend told my daughter she couldn't sit with her at lunch. My daughter couldn't find anywhere else to sit so she cried and a teacher came and had her eat lunch in the classroom. Then the so called friend kept asking my daughter repeatedly to sit with her on the bus ride home. Then her friend sat with someone else and ignored her.
I can't make this girl be my daughter's friend again. I dont believe in making anyone be around someone they don't want to be around. The girl doesn't have to be intentionally cruel though.

AthrillatheHunt · 51-55, M

That’s a tricky one for sure

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