I Iliasm

Lack of intimacy: living in a sexless marriage... unfortunately too common. Physical intimacy being an indispensable element in a relationship, marriage without sex can pose threat to a relationship. And also, the non physical intimacy, equally important and needed.

There are marriages which survive without sex, intimacy, and romance, however, but these are the attributes that set the relationship between a husband and a wife apart from all other familiar ties.... and the term "Room mates" comes on stage.

A lack of intimacy in marriage for men can be a major source of anxiety and frustration. Sometimes a lack of sex will trigger a man’s insecurities and in the long-run, can have damaging effects on his self-confidence, my humble opinion...

On the other hand, a lack of intimacy in marriage for women can be just as damaging– however, not always in the same way. And here´s the point I wanted to arrive to: the different and many ways those women react to their lack of intimacy (I´m in the group).

Open cheating, hidden cheating, friends with benefits, outsourcing among close/best friends, online resources...so many really....

I have decided on mine of course, which I have no special interest in "advertising" here, my friends know about it and I´m in no way saying it´s the best...it´s mine. It has to do with the way I think, feel, need to live...

Anyway, just an unimportant rambling...

Straightbayou · 56-60, F

I’ve avoided reading posts or joining this group due to the trolls you end up with messaging you…but here I am 😔…and not for the trolls!

It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female it’s hard when it’s one sided. When you still care and are still attracted to your ‘partner’ but the feelings are no longer reciprocated.

I found a woman’s name and phone numbers written on a bit of paper (all swirling and flirtatious…you guys know what I mean!) that my husband had miss placed…ugh…about a week before Christmas…merry Christmas 🎉

I tried calling the number but it went to an automated answering machine…not once, not twice but on 5 separate occasions.

I think but can only say think my husbands been playing away from home for about 10 years now, but it’s only now that I have anything close to concrete to back my thoughts up(I’ve always be called crazy). I know when I confront him it will be our 34 year relationship over…this is something that is huge to me and is going to change lives forever!

I know I have to confront him, I’m just not sure how or when

Roadsterrider · 56-60, M

@Straightbayou Have you thought about just showing him the paper and asking where it came from. I went to a customer appreciation party thrown by the company I work for, while there one of the ladies present had a little too much to drink, she wound up slipping her number into my jacket pocket. She might have had ideas about something happening but at the time, I was working, had no idea that she had stuck her info into my pocket. Of course, when my wife found it, she lost her mind, she didn't want to get a divorce, but had a fling with a coworker to "get even". When she finally brought it up and explained what she had done, it took a single phone call to prove my innocence. She could never get back to where she was before she broke trust. Give him a chance to explain at least before you kick him to the curb.

Straightbayou · 56-60, F

@Roadsterrider @Roadsterrider I am not nor if I did, wouldn’t just be kicking my husband to the curb. As I said this sort of thing has been going on for the last 10 years of our relationship.

We have been to couples counselling and when it was over my husband said that it had been a waist of time and money. He said if you know what they are looking for, you know what to say and do for them to think they are doing a good job. I have tried talking things through on numerous occasions but both parties have to be hones and really want the change.

When I have more time I will post a story outlining things in depth, I don’t think in the response to someone else’s very well written post is the place for it.

I will however say that I am offended at you’re last comment about giving him a chance to explain before I kick him to the curb. It looks to me that you only took on board a very small part of what I wrote.
I’ve been trying to work through things for 10 years…plenty of time and chances!