Do you believe in true love?
I'm coming up on 23 years old and I've never experienced anything that seemed remotely close to love like its said to be. I'm starting to wonder if I've been believing in a lie. So I ask you: do you believe in true love? Why? What gave you proof it existed? Do you believe in love or soul mates?
If so, how do you know when you're in love and how would you go about telling your significant other? Why do you (or don't you) believe in true love? She believes in a soul and she believes true love is when 2 souls are the perfect match for each other and those 2 souls, when they find each other, spend eternity together or whatever. Basically everyone has that one person in the world that they are perfect for and are best suited for. I'm not sure if the majority of the people share her view or not I believe love is simply a chemical brain function, nothing more, nothing less and although its deeply enjoyable, there is nothing magical about it in the sense that people almost never end up with their "soulmate". Even if they are married for 60-70 years there might have been another person in the world, who if they met before they got together or what have you, would be better suited for each other because their personalities are tuned together better. Some people may have a personality that matches really well with a lot of people, other might have a personality that really doesn't match with that many people, or even zero, who knows. My belief stems simply from my idea that there is no reason why the universe should have a monopoly on human lives anyway. Why would the universe care if we end up with anyone or not? Also, every human being is unique but that doesn't mean each person is liked romantically, sexually or even platonically by an equal number of people and its nearly impossible to find someone who could possibly like you the most out of 7 billion people.
So let's say in the whole world I have 50 people who could possibly ever be romantically interested in me, after I apply my looks or charms or whatever. out of the top 5 that would be best suited for me, lets say i only met number 3 and end up marrying her and lived with her for the rest of my life. It doesn't mean my wife is my soulmate, it just means shes the best one i happened to find. So in the end what I'm saying is that, life is really random and there may or may not be a soulmate, the perfect one, for everyone in the world and it is impossible to meet them out of 7 billion people and it's impossible to know if you did. What are your reasons for (still) believing in love?
What makes you believe in love? Despite any bad experiences, pain, or other deterrents? I have only ever truly been in love three times in my life. There have been other times where I felt like I could be in love with a person, but I didn't allow myself to fall, and it actually worked out for the best, except perhaps one situation with this girl I met while living at a friend's house...But anyway, love at first sight. Of the three girls I fell in love with, two were at first sight. One, was my first love. I was fourteen and she was my best friend's cousin. The strange thing is, that being my best friend's cousin, I should have seen her before I fell for her, but I don't recall ever having seen her before this moment. I looked into her eyes and my world stopped. People were talking to us (my best friend and her father) and neither of us knew what they were saying. She recovered first and kind of smoothed things over, but me being the idiot I am said I had no idea what just happened. She blushed and left and I spent the rest of the day telling myself that what I felt couldn't have been real. It didn't work out because I was too pushy, wanting to confirm what I felt with action, but I've never lost have feelings for her. I'm not in love with her anymore, but I still care about her and think about her more than I'd care to admit, especially since we haven't spoken in years, and even that was on Facebook. The second girl I fell in love with, I hated at first and would actually hang out with her just to mess with her. I called her a bitch the first time we ever hung out, and when I saw how much it bothered her I made sure to say it every time she was around. Anyway, I could write a book (more like 4) about her because of how long we knew each other and how much she helped me become who I am today, so I'll try to stay on topic.
The third girl I fell in love with, I only met once. This girl came up the stairs at my friend's house, I caught her eyes and that was it for me. I forcefully turned myself away knowing what just happened, knowing it was ridiculous, and she just came right up to me and said hi. She was prettier than her friend, and my friends could see this and did not let me monopolize her time. Despite that, she kept complimenting me on the smallest things I did, laughed at everything I said, while I tried stupidly to just keep smiling and return her compliments. Eventually one friend left, and this girl's friend threw herself at one of my friends, and the two of them went downstairs to a bedroom. Leaving just me, her, and the friend whose house it was. She and I seized on the opportunity and began talking about everything and anything under the sun. We jumped from topic to topic but in a flow that somehow made enough sense to us that we could even keep going back to old points and bringing them into the new thing we were talking about. I have never ever experienced anything like that in my life previous to that moment or after it. One other girl came close as far as conversation was concerned, but for other reasons I was holding myself back from feeling anything for her. I tried to keep this short, but failed. (I typed out a lot more to the story and will post it in the comments if anyone want to read the happiest and saddest night of my life). But, do any of you believe in love at first sight? Beyond simply thinking of these three girls and the two others I mentioned (because those were the two I most could have fallen in love with had I allowed myself) I also thought of this because of other threads where it was brought up that INFPs read other people well. Well, have you ever read someone so well that you knew you were in love with them? I do, but. You fall in love with the looks, not the personality of a person. High chances you’ll lose feelings as soon as their personality doesn’t match your expectations. But either way, this type of love often doesn’t last too long, unless you guys go through and the relationship progresses. No. Appearance means nothing. I’ve never in my life looked at someone and thought I’d want to date/have sex with them. The only person I’ve ever been in a relationship with was my friend for over a year, maybe 2 years, before we started dating. Can you make me believe in love?
Stories, ideas, thoughts, experiences, anything that can illustrate the existence of ROMANTIC love. Have you found it? Do you believe in (lasting) romantic love? Why or why not?
My views on the subject have been pretty pessimistic recently. I'd like to hear your stories and opinions. Do you believe you only experience 'true love' once in your life?
Yesterday on askreddit someone asked about what true love feels like, and it made me think. I've only had two serious relationships in my life, and my most recent former one was the first that really felt like true love. I remember reading a quote that said, "You'll get married and be in love, but there will always be that one person". Do any of you truly believe there was one significant person you were with that you will always claim to be your true love? Or do you feel as if true love applies to whoever you're with? I don't believe in love and I also believe EVERY relationship ends in heart break.
Firstly, let me clarify what i mean by the word love. I mean fully EQUAL and MUTUAL love. Meaning each person loves each other the same amount and both get the same amount out of the relationship as the put in, for example: Time, money, effort orgasms, everything equal. Secondly I believe every relationship ends in heartbreak because referring to part one I believe someone always loves the other more, they put more in or get more out. And even if couple live together for 50 years one of them will die first and that kinda trauma just isn't worth it. What do you get out of a relationship that is worth putting up with any amount of stress? I genuinely can't think of anything (other than children) that would outweigh the negatives of;
being nagged,
having to give up things (compromise),
having to spend ridiculous amounts on gifts/possible wedding.
Dealing with their family (I don't know you we're not friends, we have nothing in common i'm only here because I am having sex with your offspring).
Time and effort needed to commit to things I don't want/need to do (drinks with their friends/family). I have spoken to people IRL about this and the usual platitudes are giving and receiving love (circular argument)
Mutual support (if i can't support myself I am not worth someone else trying to support me!)
Children (I kinda do want my own children)
Sex (sex really isn't all that tbh and spending 20 minutes on randompornsitedotcom is a lot more time efficient that wasting a couple of hours of sex). So yeah, I'd like the thoughts of the masses to see if I really am that odd...
For me, it wasn't any one moment, but a series of moments that gradually led me to believe in love. I think the first time I really understood what love was and how it could feel was when I saw my parents together. Even after all these years, they still look at each other with such love and admiration, and I knew that that's what I wanted for myself one day.
Another moment that comes to mind was when my husband and I were on our honeymoon. We were walking on the beach hand-in-hand, and I just felt so happy and content knowing that I was with the person I loved. It was a feeling of complete contentment and security, and it was really beautiful.
Laying on my girlfriend’s chest, with our cat on my shoulder, listening to her heartbeat and looking at her eyes while Titanic played. She was watching the movie and all I could think about is how I wanted to be right there, forever.
My wife and I were platonic friends in high school. One evening during our first year of college, we got together just to catch up. At the end of a conversation about ordinary life stuff, we both simultaneously leaned in and kissed. It was like a sixth sense. We’ve been in love since that moment, and that was 40 years ago. I believe that "true" love is when you find a person with whom you connect on more than the physical level. My husband and I started out as FWB, but as we spent more time together, we figured out how much we had in common and our occasional sexy-times turned into a real relationship. We grew a friendship at the same time as we indulged our lust, but once the honeymoon phase and initial lust were over, we still had this great relationship as friends. We can talk about anything, or nothing, and still be completely comfortable in the silence. We might cuddle more than we have sex now, but being close to each other isn't just about sex; it's about willing to be vulnerable to another person, while simultaneously feeling the safest you've ever been. We've been together for just over 8 years, married for almost 3.
No. I don't even really believe in romantic love. What we consider romance is just a toxic grab bag of possessiveness, obsession, insecurity, and sexual attraction. Two people can have nothing in common, barely even seem to like each other, and somehow still be in love. Love to me is largely a platonic feeling that only gets muffled by sexual attraction. That attraction let's people overlook incompatibility and toxicity. It seems ridiculous that a person you might have only known for 8 months is your love on a level that's equivalent to your own parents, your siblings, your best friends that have helped you through your entire life etc. Most people are potentially compatible with a lot of other people. Given how many people there are. It's still very special if you find one of those people and can connect with them, and you should treat it as something special. But there's definitely not just one.
If so, how do you know when you're in love and how would you go about telling your significant other? Why do you (or don't you) believe in true love? She believes in a soul and she believes true love is when 2 souls are the perfect match for each other and those 2 souls, when they find each other, spend eternity together or whatever. Basically everyone has that one person in the world that they are perfect for and are best suited for. I'm not sure if the majority of the people share her view or not I believe love is simply a chemical brain function, nothing more, nothing less and although its deeply enjoyable, there is nothing magical about it in the sense that people almost never end up with their "soulmate". Even if they are married for 60-70 years there might have been another person in the world, who if they met before they got together or what have you, would be better suited for each other because their personalities are tuned together better. Some people may have a personality that matches really well with a lot of people, other might have a personality that really doesn't match with that many people, or even zero, who knows. My belief stems simply from my idea that there is no reason why the universe should have a monopoly on human lives anyway. Why would the universe care if we end up with anyone or not? Also, every human being is unique but that doesn't mean each person is liked romantically, sexually or even platonically by an equal number of people and its nearly impossible to find someone who could possibly like you the most out of 7 billion people.
So let's say in the whole world I have 50 people who could possibly ever be romantically interested in me, after I apply my looks or charms or whatever. out of the top 5 that would be best suited for me, lets say i only met number 3 and end up marrying her and lived with her for the rest of my life. It doesn't mean my wife is my soulmate, it just means shes the best one i happened to find. So in the end what I'm saying is that, life is really random and there may or may not be a soulmate, the perfect one, for everyone in the world and it is impossible to meet them out of 7 billion people and it's impossible to know if you did. What are your reasons for (still) believing in love?
What makes you believe in love? Despite any bad experiences, pain, or other deterrents? I have only ever truly been in love three times in my life. There have been other times where I felt like I could be in love with a person, but I didn't allow myself to fall, and it actually worked out for the best, except perhaps one situation with this girl I met while living at a friend's house...But anyway, love at first sight. Of the three girls I fell in love with, two were at first sight. One, was my first love. I was fourteen and she was my best friend's cousin. The strange thing is, that being my best friend's cousin, I should have seen her before I fell for her, but I don't recall ever having seen her before this moment. I looked into her eyes and my world stopped. People were talking to us (my best friend and her father) and neither of us knew what they were saying. She recovered first and kind of smoothed things over, but me being the idiot I am said I had no idea what just happened. She blushed and left and I spent the rest of the day telling myself that what I felt couldn't have been real. It didn't work out because I was too pushy, wanting to confirm what I felt with action, but I've never lost have feelings for her. I'm not in love with her anymore, but I still care about her and think about her more than I'd care to admit, especially since we haven't spoken in years, and even that was on Facebook. The second girl I fell in love with, I hated at first and would actually hang out with her just to mess with her. I called her a bitch the first time we ever hung out, and when I saw how much it bothered her I made sure to say it every time she was around. Anyway, I could write a book (more like 4) about her because of how long we knew each other and how much she helped me become who I am today, so I'll try to stay on topic.
The third girl I fell in love with, I only met once. This girl came up the stairs at my friend's house, I caught her eyes and that was it for me. I forcefully turned myself away knowing what just happened, knowing it was ridiculous, and she just came right up to me and said hi. She was prettier than her friend, and my friends could see this and did not let me monopolize her time. Despite that, she kept complimenting me on the smallest things I did, laughed at everything I said, while I tried stupidly to just keep smiling and return her compliments. Eventually one friend left, and this girl's friend threw herself at one of my friends, and the two of them went downstairs to a bedroom. Leaving just me, her, and the friend whose house it was. She and I seized on the opportunity and began talking about everything and anything under the sun. We jumped from topic to topic but in a flow that somehow made enough sense to us that we could even keep going back to old points and bringing them into the new thing we were talking about. I have never ever experienced anything like that in my life previous to that moment or after it. One other girl came close as far as conversation was concerned, but for other reasons I was holding myself back from feeling anything for her. I tried to keep this short, but failed. (I typed out a lot more to the story and will post it in the comments if anyone want to read the happiest and saddest night of my life). But, do any of you believe in love at first sight? Beyond simply thinking of these three girls and the two others I mentioned (because those were the two I most could have fallen in love with had I allowed myself) I also thought of this because of other threads where it was brought up that INFPs read other people well. Well, have you ever read someone so well that you knew you were in love with them? I do, but. You fall in love with the looks, not the personality of a person. High chances you’ll lose feelings as soon as their personality doesn’t match your expectations. But either way, this type of love often doesn’t last too long, unless you guys go through and the relationship progresses. No. Appearance means nothing. I’ve never in my life looked at someone and thought I’d want to date/have sex with them. The only person I’ve ever been in a relationship with was my friend for over a year, maybe 2 years, before we started dating. Can you make me believe in love?
Stories, ideas, thoughts, experiences, anything that can illustrate the existence of ROMANTIC love. Have you found it? Do you believe in (lasting) romantic love? Why or why not?
My views on the subject have been pretty pessimistic recently. I'd like to hear your stories and opinions. Do you believe you only experience 'true love' once in your life?
Yesterday on askreddit someone asked about what true love feels like, and it made me think. I've only had two serious relationships in my life, and my most recent former one was the first that really felt like true love. I remember reading a quote that said, "You'll get married and be in love, but there will always be that one person". Do any of you truly believe there was one significant person you were with that you will always claim to be your true love? Or do you feel as if true love applies to whoever you're with? I don't believe in love and I also believe EVERY relationship ends in heart break.
Firstly, let me clarify what i mean by the word love. I mean fully EQUAL and MUTUAL love. Meaning each person loves each other the same amount and both get the same amount out of the relationship as the put in, for example: Time, money, effort orgasms, everything equal. Secondly I believe every relationship ends in heartbreak because referring to part one I believe someone always loves the other more, they put more in or get more out. And even if couple live together for 50 years one of them will die first and that kinda trauma just isn't worth it. What do you get out of a relationship that is worth putting up with any amount of stress? I genuinely can't think of anything (other than children) that would outweigh the negatives of;
being nagged,
having to give up things (compromise),
having to spend ridiculous amounts on gifts/possible wedding.
Dealing with their family (I don't know you we're not friends, we have nothing in common i'm only here because I am having sex with your offspring).
Time and effort needed to commit to things I don't want/need to do (drinks with their friends/family). I have spoken to people IRL about this and the usual platitudes are giving and receiving love (circular argument)
Mutual support (if i can't support myself I am not worth someone else trying to support me!)
Children (I kinda do want my own children)
Sex (sex really isn't all that tbh and spending 20 minutes on randompornsitedotcom is a lot more time efficient that wasting a couple of hours of sex). So yeah, I'd like the thoughts of the masses to see if I really am that odd...
For me, it wasn't any one moment, but a series of moments that gradually led me to believe in love. I think the first time I really understood what love was and how it could feel was when I saw my parents together. Even after all these years, they still look at each other with such love and admiration, and I knew that that's what I wanted for myself one day.
Another moment that comes to mind was when my husband and I were on our honeymoon. We were walking on the beach hand-in-hand, and I just felt so happy and content knowing that I was with the person I loved. It was a feeling of complete contentment and security, and it was really beautiful.
Laying on my girlfriend’s chest, with our cat on my shoulder, listening to her heartbeat and looking at her eyes while Titanic played. She was watching the movie and all I could think about is how I wanted to be right there, forever.
My wife and I were platonic friends in high school. One evening during our first year of college, we got together just to catch up. At the end of a conversation about ordinary life stuff, we both simultaneously leaned in and kissed. It was like a sixth sense. We’ve been in love since that moment, and that was 40 years ago. I believe that "true" love is when you find a person with whom you connect on more than the physical level. My husband and I started out as FWB, but as we spent more time together, we figured out how much we had in common and our occasional sexy-times turned into a real relationship. We grew a friendship at the same time as we indulged our lust, but once the honeymoon phase and initial lust were over, we still had this great relationship as friends. We can talk about anything, or nothing, and still be completely comfortable in the silence. We might cuddle more than we have sex now, but being close to each other isn't just about sex; it's about willing to be vulnerable to another person, while simultaneously feeling the safest you've ever been. We've been together for just over 8 years, married for almost 3.
No. I don't even really believe in romantic love. What we consider romance is just a toxic grab bag of possessiveness, obsession, insecurity, and sexual attraction. Two people can have nothing in common, barely even seem to like each other, and somehow still be in love. Love to me is largely a platonic feeling that only gets muffled by sexual attraction. That attraction let's people overlook incompatibility and toxicity. It seems ridiculous that a person you might have only known for 8 months is your love on a level that's equivalent to your own parents, your siblings, your best friends that have helped you through your entire life etc. Most people are potentially compatible with a lot of other people. Given how many people there are. It's still very special if you find one of those people and can connect with them, and you should treat it as something special. But there's definitely not just one.
