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Do you think you could handle and open relationship?

Many people fantasize about this but they still have jealousy issues and fears. Do you think you could do it?
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
Well, I kinda did for two years, but neither of us opted to really pursue the open side of the agreement, so it wasn't really (if that makes sense). We were both in school, loved being together, but didn't want to be officially exclusive ... but neither of us saw anyone else while we were together so was it really open? Idk.
hlpflwthat · M
I don't think that is all that terribly unusual for an open relationship. And in a truly unusual way, it's probably a stronger affirmation of your feelings - that you [i]could[/i], but chose not to. As opposed to keeping a promise(if that makes sense.)
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
@hlpflwthat: Makes perfect sense actually. We were both free to see other people, but we both [b]chose [/b]to make the other a priority every day for two years.
Longlegs2014 · 61-69, M
@sarabee1995: Since it wasn't exclusive to begin with, some might not say "open" in the sense here. But for all practical purposes it was. Glad that it worked out for you.
chameleongirl · 46-50, F
Yes, but only if I have a partner that accepts it too. It has to be mutually acceptable with lots of trust and communication, otherwise it won't work
CrazyCatLady · 31-35, F
Definitely.
An open relationship needs mutual agreement, communication, and why not, some boundaries.
Longlegs2014 · 61-69, M
@CrazyCatLady: yes, what is acceptable and what is out of bounds. Play together, separately or a little of both?
CrazyCatLady · 31-35, F
It's cute that everyone is panicking about it but most people have cheated or have been cheated on :P
lillyd · F
🙄
lillyd · F
@CrazyCatLady: people that aren't cheaters came to this question
CrazyCatLady · 31-35, F
The comment you are responding to, not the question.
Quizzical · 46-50, M
Not sure about totally open, but could certainly live with experimenting with the general idea
CrazyCatLady · 31-35, F
I believe in keeping an open communication Chanel so you know what your partner needs.
If you can't provide then maybe changes should be made or maybe the relationship could end to have the freedom to find what you need.
thepreposterouspanda · 31-35, M
I imagine I could. It seems like the only avenue for me.
CrazyCatLady · 31-35, F
That or Poly
thepreposterouspanda · 31-35, M
@CrazyCatLady: Yes, true enough. I just know that being "committed" doesn't seem as reasonable to me.
Years ago it might have seemed exciting and erotic. At this point, It is sometimes a challenge to focus on my spouse's needs. Sure it might mean a bit of momentary excitement, but then what would be left is repercussions and hurt feelings. Even if you tell yourself, 'it's only physical, that's all', what about developing emotional attachments to someone else? What if you find a better lover?
Hawnheart · 61-69
I used to think, "wouldn't it be great to be in a open relationship!" The it dawned on me, wait a minute I don't think I could handle other men coming on to my wife.
Hawnheart · 61-69
Cute, you do realize it's all hypothetical.
Longlegs2014 · 61-69, M
LOL - yes it is. For you perhaps. But the discussion in general still holds. Many may wish for, then one day they find out they now have what they asked/wished for. Only it may not be what they thought.

A EP friend's husband pestered her for a very long time. She finally said ok. He thought it was hot, sexy and wonderful. Until she got really excited in anticipation of seeing another man. All of a sudden he decided it wasn't as hot and sexy as he thought. The question became, did she want to stop....

Once you open the door, it's not always one that can be closed. What do they say - be careful of what you ask for?
Hawnheart · 61-69
Exactly, be careful what you wish for.
Longlegs2014 · 61-69, M
I think the question is would I want an open relationship?
clyson · 26-30, M
Nooooooo. I would get jealous, to be honest.
Nope. I'll stay single for that junk.
CrazyCatLady · 31-35, F
Some people don't have open relationships because they are afraid to be judged.
But what's wrong if both partners agree and set their rules.
I basically wanted to see how people react to diversity. One thing is not to share it, and other is to satanize the idea.

I think when two people decide to have a relationship they can definitely set their own rules and it shouldn't matter what the taboos are, as long as all the involved agree on the terms
CrazyCatLady · 31-35, F
@PoetryNEmotion: Exactly. A lot of misinformation.
@CrazyCatLady: Nothing wrong with them. It was my idea in the first place. He was fine with it. I was married and in a sexless relationship for a long time. I have a high sex drive. So it seemed natural. People tend to attack others for being different than what society says is the norm. Many here will say no way. Yet many do not understand exactly what an open relationship is. A few will be enlightened and say sure, okay. People care too much what other say. That is why people are so repressed. I was monogamous in my marriage. I decided on an open relationship when I met my present partner several years after divorcing the ex. I dated for a bit. Then I decided. It suits us fine. And I don't care what anyone says. We are happy and committed to one another. I am confident too. A good question.
LookingForIt987 · 51-55, M
Wife and I have one, though neither of us has really "wandered" too much separately. We enjoy sharing too much. :)
CrazyCatLady · 31-35, F
I think that would be my problem
I really don't want to go and "explore" by myself. I want to include my hb in everything, so I think an open relationship is not what I would go for.
LookingForIt987 · 51-55, M
@CrazyCatLady: It's all about communication, either way to be honest.
CrazyCatLady · 31-35, F
Yeah, I know. Thanks for sharing your experience with me :)
Cooper802Forever · 22-25, M
mmm...probably not, i mean im not well educated/experienced on open relationships...so maybe, maybe not...but i think i would just like a 'regular' relationship...
I can and I do. It requires a lot of trust, communication, etc. It is not all wild sex. It just is another form of intimacy. It is a mutual decision.
Too many cucks these days, today's generation have minimal loyalty and only look out for themselves
Xena1234 · 51-55, F
Handle it? I would not even tolerate it.
CrazyCatLady · 31-35, F
And that's ok, you set your own norms! You go girl!
I would never even try. Cant, wont, dont want to.
eww don't want one. it's an std hazard imo
Goralski · 51-55, M
Why would I want ta
I'm just not built for it.
SW-User
SW-User
mountainman1234 · 70-79, M
I would be glad to be in an open relationship ,, I have always said if you see something you like you should enjoy it ,,
hlpflwthat · M
What happened this morning?
CrazyCatLady · 31-35, F
Lol sorry autocorrect
hlpflwthat · M
@CrazyCatLady: I've never been with anyone who'd be brainless about it, so I'm okay with it above board.
Nope! I'm too jealous and paranoid!
SW-User
No. Not my thing.

 
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