Tarzan and Jane

When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied.

Jane explained to him what it was.

Tarzan said, "Ohhh...Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground.

"Here." she said, pointing to her privates. "You must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her and kicked her right in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually, she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?!"

Tarzan replied, "Check for squirrel."

NotJamieM · 46-50, M

There was once a girl eho eas still a virgin and she was being pressured by her boyfriendcyo have sex. She told her friend to say no and then that he asked her to perform oral sex on him.

"Oh, you should be able to do that." her friend told her. "Just practice on a ketchup bottle."

"Oh, ok, I'll do that." The girl said excitedly.

The following week the boyfriend again asked her to have sex and she said no. He asked for oral sex and was delighted when she agreed. He quickly stripped down and lay back on the couch.

She approached him and took hold of him with one hand... Then proceeded to pound on the head of his manhood with her other palm.

wistful

@NotJamieM And their first children were named “Heinz”, “Hunts”, and “Del Monte.”

🤦