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Women: Have you ever blamed yourself for failed marriages/relationships?

If so, what did you need to realize that it was not your fault, and that you could move on in life; thereby, being able to have a relationship again?
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SW-User
Yes. I believe that I had many faults within my marriage and I own responsibility for every one of them. However, what I will not take the blame for (other than it is what I accepted because I thought I had to and wasn't worth more) is his betrayal and abuse. I can honestly say that I tried everything to make our marriage work.... for 22 years. But it takes two committed people to make a marriage work, and his commitment was to fulfilling his desires/addiction at any cost. I'm still working through it all because my divorce was very recent, but I KNOW I did what was right.
aldnazmeister · 56-60, M
@SW-User I agree with you, you are not to blame for the actions of others through their betrayal and abuse.
Hopefully you can work through everything soon so that it does not hold you back in life.
SW-User
@aldnazmeister Thank you, I hope the same for you as well (if this question was asked out of personal experience).
aldnazmeister · 56-60, M
@SW-User Thank you.
Partly yes. I have a friend that has recently filed for divorce, #2, and believes she is the common factor in the failed marriages. Consequently, even though we are friends and get along nicely, she wants me to stay away.
I don't think she really wants me to stay away, but rather wanted to hear from me that it was not her fault, and she will be fine.
SW-User
@aldnazmeister Yep, I've been where she is.... where you think the only thing you're good for is causing people pain, so you push everyone away. It's a protective mechanism for her really,because she's hurt and afraid, but the lies tell her it's for the sake of others. My suggestion, which I realize you didn't ask for, is to let her know you are there for her when she wants/needs you, and then to give space for her to work through it on her own. It's probably going to get more painful for her for a while. But knowing she has faithful friends will be priceless. Anyway... just my two cents. I hope it works out. ☺
aldnazmeister · 56-60, M
@SW-User Thank you for your advice. That pretty much how it is and what I have told her. It works better for me to give her space due to how far away she lives, but I understand what you are saying. :)