The calm after the storm

Monday evening I explained to him I no longer consider myself in a relationship with him. Explained 30 days is a good timeframe for him to prepare to pack up and find another living situation outside my home.

He kept trying to provoke a conversation by bringing up arguments we'd already moved past. When I asked him if he really wanted to rehash that because it's not going to change things, he said he's not arguing for us to stay together. Good, conversation over.
Tuesday night passed without the typical phone calls and texts while he was at work, I was relieved.

Wednesday morning he crawled into bed and wanted to snuggle, I was to groggy to assert my will and correct this behavior and let him spoon me. When he woke up that afternoon to go to work he attempted to start up a conversation about work, I guess it's because there's always some kind of nonsense going on that I turn into a chatty-cathy about. Not this time though. Needed to keep him at arms length so he understood, we're not a couple any more.

When he was leaving he said "Have a good evening, I love you. Oh well, I mean, bye." Much later I received a phone call asking about the car insurance policy and letting me know he was trying to get his car moved off my policy. He also wanted to know my opinion on the cell phone bill, suggesting once moved into my name he could just give me what his line cost every month. Even went so far to say we could keep it as is because he wasn't going to be doing much of anything except spending a bunch of time with his grandfather. I told him I'd take care of it.

A few hours later I received conversational texts about what was happening at his job, a meme, and a joke.
This morning he crawled into bed and wanted to snuggle again, this time I refused and all that happened was an arm drape.

I asked a good friend who worked with abuse victims through the prosecutors office their thoughts. I was sent a list of behaviors to watch for, there was about 4 behaviors I could safely say yes to (no physical abuse items, just mental, emotional). I then explained this and asked if maybe it was past trauma causing these behaviors. The answer I got made a lot of sense; if it's past trauma causing these behaviors and he really loves me he'll be willing to attend therapy with me to work through our issues, otherwise, he's just an abuser who's not going to change right now.

I've not suggested therapy yet, he's not wanted to talk about our relationship just the desolation. For me, that's fine we'll continue down the desolation path while I maintain intimacy boundaries until he's gone.

The countdown has begun.