Communication for better Sex

I feel like the way we have taught men to perform in bed causes issues for them. You’re convinced that you need to last for a while which makes sense, you want to be able to please your partner. And you’re more or less convinced that you need to finish them first before you do. But that doesn’t leave much room for them to please you. I’m sure it can be corrected with communication, which would probably bring relief to both people but if it’s never talked about then it can cause issues. Sometimes lasting too long isn’t good, or not allowing your partner the joy of giving back causes resentment.


That’s what I’m experiencing now anyways. I’ve always been a giver when it came to my relationships with women but with this guy I’m the receiver and I’m starting to miss the feeling of giving. What’s annoying is that he will stop me as I’m giving him head before he finishes because he has it in his head that I need to finish first so he will pull me up to have sex. He’s told me that.

I told all this to my therapist and she gave me homework.Probably the best homework I’ve ever received because what I’ve needed was to tell my partner that I just want to be un bothered while I suck him off and to let me finish him. I don’t think it will be a hard conversation, I’m just a little anxious because I’m sure he has his reasons for being that way and change is a little scary sometimes