I Have Something to Say

*calls out to my oldest son*
“Sweetie can you take Mia outside to pee?!”

Him “I can’t - I can’t pause an online game”


Me “well hurry up and die so you can take her out please”

Him “I can’t believe you’re wishing death on your handsome son”

Me “it’s just a game, your handsomness will be unaffected”

Him “fine”