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I Want to Be Positive About Life

Psychology Today
Thomas G. Plante, Ph.D, ABPP
March 18, 2020


“.... the Tend and Befriend theory

developed and researched primarily by Professor Shelly Taylor at UCLA. It suggests that during times of significant stress, we tend to turn to others for connection, support, and solidarity, even among strangers. During a pandemic, it is wonderful to hear stories about — or to personally experience — remarkable acts of kindness, compassion, and graciousness towards others. Young people offer to help elders who are unable to get food or other supplies or just people chatting amicably in long grocery lines are all heartwarming. People share surplus supplies and offer to help neighbors they may not know at all. All are examples and predictable if one understands the tend and befriend theory.”

You can read the whole article at


https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/do-the-right-thing/202003/psychology-helps-us-better-predict-crisis-behavior
xixgun · M
I think this proves, no matter how cold and distant we like to think ourselves, when the chips are down - most people are basically good and kind (even if they don't want to be)
jim44444 · 70-79, M
I wonder if this is caused by a crisis or if we just are more aware because it does not fit our crisis script. The entertainment industry sells tickets to disaster movies by portraying mass hysteria and complete social breakdown as the norm to a crisis.

So now we have a crisis and people react positively (as they always do) and it surprises us. If we think about our normal reality it most likely emulates our crisis response.

If a someone is a decent person during normal times they will be a decent person during a crisis. If they are normally an asshole ...
SmartKat · 56-60, F
@jim44444 You’re probably onto something.
curiosi · 61-69, F
Thank you, just got back from the grocery store to get a few items before I have to hunker down. I left feeling deflated at the things I saw. A reminder that it isn't like that everywhere was needed.
ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
I like the positive stories like this, and it's understandable in circumstances like this. I wish more people were like the ones mentioned in the article.
Rutterman · 46-50, M
Thanks for sharing this. I'll be sure to check out the entire article.

 
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