A word about tolerance, and why it isn't something we should be shooting for

I want you to think about someone very close to you. Think about the verbs you associate with that person: love, like, etc. Was tolerate one of those words? Do you tolerate the people you love? Probably not. Because tolerating someone means you don't necessarily like them, or approve of what they do, but you give them permission to continue to exist. That doesn't sound very loving, does it?

If all we are going to do with people who are different from us is tolerate them, that's not creating a loving environment. That's not saying that it's okay for them to be who they are. That's saying, "I begrudgingly grant you permission to be in this world." And that permission is not ours to give. Other people already exist, and they have a right to do so that we can't revoke.

So how about instead of tolerance, we practice acceptance? Unconditional acceptance is a hell of a lot closer to love than mere tolerance.

But hey, what do I know?