I thought I understood suicide, but I don’t

I have had suicidal thoughts, I’ve researched different methods and I’ve made several attempts. I thought I knew everything there is to know about suicide. Friday a friend hung himself. I haven’t been able to have a clear thought since. My mind just races. I’d never thought about what happens after and now I’m living it. The police having to be involved as though a crime has happened. The grief in people around me is so different to last time. There’s an anxiety in the air that is suffocating. I have thoughts that I can’t tell anyone because they wouldn’t understand, but it means they’re in my head all the time. Maybe my issues around death are heightening this too.

I’m not expecting anything from this post, I just needed to say it.

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PiecingBabyFaceTogether · 31-35, M

The closest I been to suicide was my favorite bartender at a cafe I used to go to years ago. He hung himself inside the cafe.

I remember just passing from the same street the cafe was in felt horrible.

I can't say it's the same thing when it's a friend like it must be twice as hard maybe more. I wish I could hug you.

SW-User

@PiecingBabyFaceTogether thank you ❤️

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@PiecingBabyFaceTogether I am sorry you went through this 💖

JaggedLittlePill · 46-50, F

Sophie, I am in the process of this same thing right now. My husband's friend killed himself this past week and this feeling seems to be creeping in my home.

Just know that you are not alone and I am having thoughts about these same things.

I too have thought about all of this.

The after part is what has kept me alive. I have seen the after too many times.

Please reach out to anyone you trust if you are feeling the need. ❤

SW-User

@JaggedLittlePill thank you for telling me that, it kinda helps to just not feel alone in this

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@JaggedLittlePill I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this 💖.

Gangstress · 41-45, F

I know ive been struggling but itll never stop me from caring about you Soph xx
Ill give you a call tomorrow if youre up for it?

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iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

Sophie, you kind how sorry I am that you are going through this especially with your issues around death. It makes it even harder for you.

I have been through this too. A 14 year old cousin hung her self because she was being bullied online. I understand the thoughts you are having. My mom has also attempted 5 times during my lifetime.

My husband lost his grandfather to suicide and his uncle too.

You are not alone. You can always reach out to as you have done so in in the past. I just want to see the best for you and I am so sorry you are going through this 💖.

SW-User

@iamonfire696 thank you, I know you understand ❤️

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@SW-User Always here for you 💖

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