I’m starting to wonder if I should give up on honest earnings, and try a life of crime.A highwayman perhaps like Adam and the Ants 😂
Living by the sea. Two different vibes.Yesterday was humid and calm. A group of girls came straight from school to swim and jump off the quay near the office. But today it’s grey and stormy, the tourists are off the beach but the locals are surfing in it. It looks awesome. 🙂
If you hear someone say “I was today years old” instead of "I just found out", tap them firmly in the forehead with a wooden spoon until they stop
As far as I can seen the only evidence for a benevolent god that loves us all is the existence of halloumi
People who refuse to drink orange juice if it has bits in are always the first to fall apart in a crisis.If you’re one of these people, accept you will be eaten by the rest of us first.
My fella and I have been together a good few years, but I’m still learning the complexities of his character.The first impression he leaves most people is that of a gentle giant with a mischievous sense of humour. Over time I’ve got the impression that he has high expectations of people and doesn’t know how to process his disappointment when people don’t...See More »
I don’t know how some people get so invested in current affairs and foreign politics. I’m thinking about one of the three jobs I’m balancing. My marriage and fun stuff we can do in our free time. My brother and his young family as he moves around the world with the military. My parents as they age and how we can support them and keep...See More »
It’s late May and that 5 months of the year has begun where it sucks to live by the sea.Emmets everywhere, every traffic queue, every park bench, every pub seat, every shop isle: all taken over by people not wearing enough clothes, sticky with sun cream, generally getting in the way. Im going to park my car up on the drive and use the...See More »
Never trust men who don't wear socks with shoes. It's just wrong and makes me wonder about other parts of their lives they've skimped on.
Went out on the sea front with two mates got wasted, had a blast. Woke up thinking I have a full day to relax and recharge.But I don’t. Because it’s apparent almost 2pm. Bye Sunday 😕
Do you remember your first trip to a large city where you found out that smiling politely at strangers is completely unacceptable?Little 13 year old me smiling at Londoners I passed by on the tube and being called a psychopath…
It was almost 6 weeks before I had the confidence to fart in front of my fella.But nowadays he scores me based on volume, pungency and blast radius.
If you need to vent every once in a while, I’m here. But if you’re going to vent all the time, I’m going to lock you in the stationary cupboard……and drop it off the Tamar Bridge.
I don’t often travel to The Smog, but I’ve waved at the King this afternoon and then I’m off to see Micky Flanagan tonight at Wembo arena for laughs- - and then out on the town. Bosh! 🙂
The new guy at work: Eating meat is the same as being a Nazi. Me and the rest of the morning shift rocking up with McDonald’s breakfasts:
Tomorrow is going to be my first day back at work after a couple of weeks. Dreading it.The people who were supposed to cover my role in my absence will have found another lame excuse not to have. I’ll have approx 300 emails. People will almost make me feel guilty for taking my holiday allowance. Whatever gods there are, please...See More »