It saved for certain people.
[c=#008099]When I was growing up, hearing "I love you" from a parent was not something that I ever got use to hearing. I would hear it from my grandparents, but to hear it from either of my parents was not something that normally was spoken. I remember countless nights going to bed without hearing that from either of my parents, which I always found strange, because anytime I would spend time with my grandparents it would be the first thing they said in the morning and the last thing they said before going to bed.
The result of this, was I have never been someone who has said I love you to just anyone. It was saved for special people, and special moments. Before I had my two children I could count on one hand how many times I said I love you to someone who was not my grandparents. I had boyfriends and girlfriends but still never really dropped that "L" word.
In my community you always had family support, especially from extended family, but again the "L" word wasn't one that was mentioned often. It did not really have a lot of effect on me growing up, I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve, and did not feel the need to tell everyone and anyone how I was feeling, and what I thought of them. I knew I was loved, and would be taken care of, but at the same time I did not need the constant reassurance that some people require.
My husband and I had dated on and off for years before I felt the need to tell him I loved him. He came from a very different household then I did, and grew up differently. He told me he loved me, maybe 2 years after dating. I honestly did not know how to respond to him, so I just told him, "me too" I knew I loved him, and wanted to spend my life with him, but did not feel comfortable or feel the need to express those feelings openly like he did. I once again believe it came down to how people are raised.
All of this changed when we decided to have a family of our own. I was very aware of how I wanted to raise my children, and my husband who had brought some children into our marriage had been brought up a certain way, and it was not necessarily how I wanted to bring up my children. I did not think there was a need to express every feeling we were feeling as children should feel sheltered from certain things. All that changed when I had them.
Saying I love you should be saved for special people and special moments, I still believe that, except when it comes to my children. I believe children should know they are loved, especially by their parents. They should never go to bed wondering if their parents love them or not. This is why I tell my children multiple times a day how much I love them. I still believe saying I love you should be saved for special people, and I would be lying if I did not tell you that I consider my children the most special people in my life.
So while I may not say I love you very often to people outside of my immediate family, it is something that I say often to my children, and have come to realize that I do say it more to my husband now that I am a mother then before we had children. [/c]
The result of this, was I have never been someone who has said I love you to just anyone. It was saved for special people, and special moments. Before I had my two children I could count on one hand how many times I said I love you to someone who was not my grandparents. I had boyfriends and girlfriends but still never really dropped that "L" word.
In my community you always had family support, especially from extended family, but again the "L" word wasn't one that was mentioned often. It did not really have a lot of effect on me growing up, I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve, and did not feel the need to tell everyone and anyone how I was feeling, and what I thought of them. I knew I was loved, and would be taken care of, but at the same time I did not need the constant reassurance that some people require.
My husband and I had dated on and off for years before I felt the need to tell him I loved him. He came from a very different household then I did, and grew up differently. He told me he loved me, maybe 2 years after dating. I honestly did not know how to respond to him, so I just told him, "me too" I knew I loved him, and wanted to spend my life with him, but did not feel comfortable or feel the need to express those feelings openly like he did. I once again believe it came down to how people are raised.
All of this changed when we decided to have a family of our own. I was very aware of how I wanted to raise my children, and my husband who had brought some children into our marriage had been brought up a certain way, and it was not necessarily how I wanted to bring up my children. I did not think there was a need to express every feeling we were feeling as children should feel sheltered from certain things. All that changed when I had them.
Saying I love you should be saved for special people and special moments, I still believe that, except when it comes to my children. I believe children should know they are loved, especially by their parents. They should never go to bed wondering if their parents love them or not. This is why I tell my children multiple times a day how much I love them. I still believe saying I love you should be saved for special people, and I would be lying if I did not tell you that I consider my children the most special people in my life.
So while I may not say I love you very often to people outside of my immediate family, it is something that I say often to my children, and have come to realize that I do say it more to my husband now that I am a mother then before we had children. [/c]
31-35, F
