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I believe that the more self love and self acceptance and self awareness of our aspects we have, the less we project to other people. At that point, love is just love, there is no need for them to complete anything in us because we'd be whole ourselves.
Practically, that is a difficult if not impossible place to get to.
So when you become aware of a projection on the other person, pause and take it in and try accepting them for the trait they really are. Maybe you'll learn about yourself along the way.
@SW-User give love instead of look for it nice I like it...need to update my feelings..
SW-User
@userfawkes1105 Before all else, give yourself love. ❤️

exexec · 61-69, C
It took a couple of years, maybe more, for my feelings for my future wife to change from strong attraction to strong love. I didn't love an ideal or a girl that I wanted her to be; I loved the real person whom I had grown to know and accept.
SW-User
I think this is the majority of what many call love.[quote] the idea of who you want them to be.[/quote] Or what we imagine them to be. It it weren't' true, there wouldn't be so many divorces or break ups.
Ohbabe · 22-25, F
this is interesting. Talking to someone older helps me not make ideas of who they could be bc they’re already old enough to do/have done those things
@Ohbabe I have a hard time talking about taboos with others... But your right don't know it all a mentor might help me...or a therapist haha
SW-User
I think sometimes we may fall in love with the idea of who we think or want the person to be
@SW-User this makes me sad because it's like never reaching a dream...
Nah I feel the opposite about my bf. He’s not my type on paper but he’s perfect to me. He’s not what I expected but what I needed 🥰
@MorbidCynic thanks that keeps hope alive, thanks for your comment.

 
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