Solitary love 馃枻
I used to want to be loved so badly it hurt. I would find love in the worst places and put everything into pleasing, giving and selfless acts. Probably because of my life growing up, and the lack of love and acceptance that haunts my heart today.
Slowly I have learned, I complete myself.
I am tired but no help is coming. I have little hope that someone will love my son and I the way we are capable of loving. So I shut down. I concede that I am too unusual, too wild for modern life.
Living in the van has taught me many things but mainly to care for myself and its shown me how completely capable I am to live a beautiful and interesting life without support or input from others. To raise my son differently and move us off the path of distraction, expectation and ultimately self destruction.
My ego is dangling like it may fall away at any moment, so Im no longer impressed with the egoic actions of others. I have little to offer another persons ego and the thought of a needy ego repulses me.
If no one ever loves me again, so be it.
I complete myself 馃枻
Slowly I have learned, I complete myself.
I am tired but no help is coming. I have little hope that someone will love my son and I the way we are capable of loving. So I shut down. I concede that I am too unusual, too wild for modern life.
Living in the van has taught me many things but mainly to care for myself and its shown me how completely capable I am to live a beautiful and interesting life without support or input from others. To raise my son differently and move us off the path of distraction, expectation and ultimately self destruction.
My ego is dangling like it may fall away at any moment, so Im no longer impressed with the egoic actions of others. I have little to offer another persons ego and the thought of a needy ego repulses me.
If no one ever loves me again, so be it.
I complete myself 馃枻
