hi I just wanna vent kinda

One time when I went through my bfs phone I found all this porn in it with girls who look nothing like me and so much prettier than. And ever since then I’ve felt so insecure and just hate the way I look so much. And he said he would never have porn in his phone ever again and that he was sorry and how I’m so beautiful etc but i just looked over at his phone and there was this really pretty girl on his screen wearing just her underwear and she had the best body and I just want to cry. He doesn’t know I saw it, but I’ve asked multiple times to please stop looking at that stuff. If u said u loved me and my body why do I always catch u looking at porn. Why can’t I just be enough for u. He gets mad whenever I tell him im insecure and I told him looking at that stuff makes me insecure, but he won’t stop. I feel like im never his type. Its not like my body is horrible, like I have curves and stuff but seeing what he looks at I know I will never compare. How do I stop feeling insecure?

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SW-User

Ughhh,,,,I feel like I’m an expert on this subject ( unfortunately) .
Let me start.. by saying :
I think these men are addicted to masturbation cause it’s easier. One of my exes once told me that he preferred masturbating/watching porn over having sex because it’s physically less exhausting and doing it with his hand was easier, cause he didn’t have to put any efforts into pleasing me ,didn’t have to do foreplay and none of that.

I don’t think it has to do with what he likes physically ( maybe a bit), but how convenient it is for him and how addicted they are to pornography.

Although…. If you’re not comfortable with it and it makes you suffer , but you love him and don’t want to end things, just stop having sex with him altogether and do it solo. He doesn’t want to stop it ? Fine , but set your boundaries. I am sure , porn addicts won’t miss having sex by one bit. And focus on other parts of the relationship, as in his company, the things you two enjoy doing together etc. That’s what I do in all of my relationships. Yes , all my exes were porn addicts and one had erectile dysfunction induced by extreme porn usage and frequent masturbation. Every time we tried having sex he was tired from having masturbated at least once, sometimes twice, prior to our sexual encounter. And before someone says , no it wasn’t my fault, I look pretty decent , people compliment me often, on my face, on body, etc. I am very kinky sexually and I love to experiment new things with my partners, but none of that has ever helped me having a healthy sex life. Because the issue was not me, but the kind of people I chose to love.

But yeah, this is the modern man for you. With a few exceptions but most millennial/gen z are like that as from what I’ve seen and from my own experience. Don’t feel bad about yourself , it’s your boyfriend who has issues.

idontknowwhattoputhere · 18-21, F

Thank u so much, I really appreciate ur comment. I’m going to talk to him abt this.@SW-User

idontknowwhattoputhere · 18-21, F

@SW-User Also I’m sorry that has happened to u

John628 · 18-21, M

Damn im sorry to hear that. Does he save it or just like a web page? If he still doesn’t do what ur asking u should talk to him and dump him

idontknowwhattoputhere · 18-21, F

@John628 I’ve seen it in his camera roll and I told him it’s fine if he watches porn even tho it still makes me sad I just don’t want to see that shit on ur phone. Thank u for ur comment

John628 · 18-21, M

@idontknowwhattoputhere im sorry to hear that. I kinda have some experience with this in a few ways lol I can share if u want :)

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